Customer: ‘What’s a colon?’

Tech Support: ‘It’s the key next to the ‘L’ key on your keyboard.’

Customer: ‘How do you spell ‘L’?’

Source

Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”

Customer: “…okay.”

Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only Mr. Sub has pineapple.”

Customer: “Yes you do! I always get pineapple here!”

Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer speaks to my manager: “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

(While installing a street light pole)

Lady: “Is this going to take long?”

Me: “Ma’am, I need to you step back.”

Lady: “But is this going to take long? I need to get to my car.”

Me: “Ma’am… I need to you step back.”

Lady: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

Me: “Ma’am… you have a 1 ton concrete pole directly over your head. If it drops, you are going to die. I need you to please step back.”

Lady: “Ok… but can I get to my car?”

Me: (I yell to my job foreman) “…Hillbilly!”

Hillbilly: “GET THE F*** OUT!”

Lady: “I never met anyone so rude.”

Source

Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

(After the previews, he returns)

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there, its a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, Cars?”

Customer: “Nascar! I wanted to see Mad about Nascar!!”

Me: “…let me get the manager.”

Customer in the drive-thru: “Hi, I’d like a BK Veggie.”

Me: “Sir, you’re at Hardee’s, not Burger King. We don’t have any vegetarian entrees.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”

(Customer sits there for a few minutes before driving away)

Customer: “So you’re sure you don’t have any small hot dogs?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Customer: (Points to hot dog grill further down the counter) “Well what about those ones over there then??”

Employee: “No, they’re just further away.”

Woman 1: “What is that little trash can on the screen?”

Woman 2: “My son says that is called the ‘recycle bin’. He tells me when I don’t want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there.”

Woman 1: “Why in the recycle thingy? Can’t you just erase it?”

Woman 2: “Oh no, Word wouldn’t work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages.”

Woman 1: “Why?”

Woman 2: “Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That’s why it’s called the recycle bin.”

Source

Me: “Hello, welcome to ***, what kind of sandwich can I get for you?”

Customer: “Uhh… I’ll get a Club.”

Me: “Would you like a 6 inch or a footlong?”

Customer: “I don’t know, how long is a footlong?”

Me: “It’s a FOOT LONG.”

(I begin to ring up a customer’s purchases at the register)

Customer: “Wait! When you ring up the bagged bulk items don’t put them on the part the laser shines through. Weigh them on the metal, please.”

Me: “Is it a problem if I scan everything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s just that the bags are clear and the laser gives you cancer.”