A Common-Sense Vacuum

| GA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I am working at a big box retail store that has circulars in the Sunday papers. I don’t work at the customer service desk, but, just happen to be there when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Location], [Store Name].”

Caller: “Yes, I was calling about the vacuum cleaner on the front page of your circular. Is it really 40% off?”

Me: “Let me get that in front of me.”

(I find a circular and see that the 40% off is for the clearance apparel shown just above the picture of the vacuum cleaner.)

Me: “No Ma’am, that 40% off is for clearance apparel.”

Caller: “So, that doesn’t include the vacuum cleaner?”

(As a manager walks by the desk, I say…)

Me: “No, Ma’am, vacuum cleaners are not apparel.”

(My manager stops, gives me a strange look, laughs, shakes his head, and, walks away.)

Not Very Re-Insuring

| USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”

Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”

Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”

Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”

When They’re More Bitter Than The Coffee

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at a large coffee chain, and this week I’m helping out at another location instead of my ‘home’ store. Naturally, I don’t know any of their regulars.)

Me: *handing drink to a customer* “Okay, here’s your dark roast coffee with two sugars.”

Customer: “Next time I come in, you’re going to remember my order.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re not going to ask for my order again.”

(I think maybe he’s joking, because, while of course I’d like to give everyone personal service, no one who is new to the store would be able to immediately know (and remember!) what all the regular customers order. But he is stone-faced, without even a hint of a smile.)

Me: *with a smile* “Well, I’ll do my best, Sir!”

Customer: “No, you’ll remember. What was my order again?”

Me: “… a dark roast coffee with two sugars.”

(He takes his coffee and walks off without another word. I look around with a ‘did that really just happen?’ expression. As soon as he left, the other baristas all chimed in with other examples of him being unbelievably rude. Sure enough, the next day, he came in and insisted on being helped immediately because “you have four people back there,” even though all four of us were busy doing something to help the customers in line ahead of him. I have no idea why someone would choose to be a regular at a coffee shop and then treat everyone so badly all the time!)

Getting The Hobbit Price

| Canada | Money, Transportation

(I drive a public bus for a company that covers a large geographic area and several different modes of transportation. Because of that, we have multiple zones costing different fares depending on how far you are traveling, with the lowest adult fare being $2.75.)

Passenger: “How much is it?”

Me: “Where are you going to today?”

Passenger: *confused* “…There and back?”

Me: “…$2.75 sir.”

Yells And Belittles

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