November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 7

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am a training to transition from host to server at a popular chain restaurant. It is my first time shadowing someone and I encounter why serving is so frustrating.)

Customer: “I’ll have the Cranberry Balsamic Chicken Salad, please.”

(I deliver it to her.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of dressing is this?”

Me: “It’s balsamic dressing.”

Customer: “Oh, balsamic?”

Me: “Yes, would you like some more on the side?”

Customer: “No… I’m allergic. I can’t have balsamic dressing.”

Me: “I’m so sorry!”

Customer: “This is the wrong salad. I need a new one.”

(I bring out the menu and explain her options to her.)

Customer: “I’d like this one.” *points to a photo of the salad she just received*

Me: “So, you’d like the salad you have now?”

Customer: “No. I can’t have balsamic.”

Me: “I can do a different kind of dressing for you. We have ranch, blue cheese, hon—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “No. No, I don’t want any of those. I want this one.” *points to the salad again*

Me: “That one comes with balsamic dressing. It’s called the “Cranberry BALSAMIC Chicken Salad, but you can choose from any of these dressings from the list right here instead of the balsamic.”

Customer: “I’ll just have a burger.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

Taxing Faxing, Part 16

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Firm]; this is [My Name].”

Client: “I need to speak to [My Boss].”

Me: “I’m sorry, she is on the phone. May I help you?”

Client: “No, I really need her.”

Me: “Okay. She may be a minute. Are you sure I can’t help you?”

Client: “No, I need her fax number. I’ll hold for her.”

Me: “Uh, I can give that to you.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14
Taxing Faxing, Part 13

Jesus Doesn’t Get Tickets

| MD, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

(My friend is playing Jesus in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar. After the performance, he changes into his own clothes, but doesn’t take off his stage makeup, including the fake blood from the crucifixion scene. While he is driving home, he is pulled over by the police.)

Police Officer: “License and registration, please.”

(As my friend hands the officer his license, the officer gets a good look at him.)

Police Officer: “Sir, are you all right? Do you need an ambulance?”

Friend: *confused because he forgot he was wearing the makeup* “Huh? Oh! I’m okay. This is makeup. I’m coming home from a performance.”

Police Officer: *so relieved that he apparently forgot why he pulled my friend over* “Oh, good. Well, drive safely and have a good night!”

No More Grand Grande Requests

| Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(I go to my local Starbucks, and step in line behind three high school students:)

Student #1: “I’d like a grande carmel brûlée latte with a double pump of carmel and extra whipped cream.”

Student #2: “I’ll have a venti iced pumpkin spice latte with three shots, extra whipped cream. Don’t put too much ice in, please.”

Student #3: “I’ll take a grande caramel brûlée frappuccino blended coffee with extra caramel and extra whipped cream.”

(Throughout this transaction the barista is polite and efficient. I approach the counter and order my usual.)

Me: “Grande latte, please.”

(The barista looked up and mouthed the words “thank you” before completing my order. Made my day!)

Seating Takes A Beating

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(This is when “Frozen” is still in theaters. My family and I go to see it a week after it comes out, so the theater is packed with people who have heard that it is the best thing since sliced bread. There are no assigned seats, so we wait in line for almost an hour to get good ones, and they fill up fast. While we are waiting for the movie to start, a family come in about five minutes before the movie starts and sees that they will have to split up. Rather than do that, the dad goes up to another other family of five — a mom and her four children, the youngest maybe three.)

Dad: “Excuse me, but could we have these seats? We want to all sit together.”

Young Mom: “…What?”

Dad: “Well, we’re all here as a family and we want to sit together, but there are no more seats together. Would you mind giving up yours so we can enjoy this movie as a family?”

Young Mom: “I’m here with my family, too.”

Dad: “Yeah, but we rarely get to do things as a family and we’d really like to sit together.”

Young Mom: *kind of laughing in disbelief* “Sorry but my kids are really young. I can’t just send them off on their own to sit next to strangers.”

Dad: “But they’re small, so they won’t be as bothered to sit with people they don’t know. They’ll have plenty of space.”

(At this point, half the theater is just gaping at them. Since seating has already been a problem with other people, an usher is there trying to manage things. He goes up to the dad.)

Usher: “Excuse me, is there a problem?”

Dad: “Yeah, this woman won’t give up her seats for us!”

Usher: “…I’m sorry. Why would she?”

Dad: “Because I have my whole family here and we all want to sit together but there aren’t enough seats left!”

Usher: “Sorry, sir, but there’s no assigned seating. If she got here first then she has every right to sit here.”

Dad: “Well, can we get compensated or something? We expected to get to sit together and now our family night is ruined!”

Usher: “Sir, there are seats available for you, not together, but there are enough, and it’s not the theater’s fault that you can’t sit together. The seating is not assigned. You should have gotten here earlier if you wanted them to all be together.”

(This went on for about ten minutes, with the dad demanding that some other family split up so his could sit together. It wasn’t until the previews started playing that they finally gave in and went to whatever seats were open. He was not happy about it, and never seemed to understand the ridiculousness of his request. Afterwards I saw him talking to the front desk about getting free tickets after such an unpleasant experience.)