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    More Money Than Sense

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (As I am ringing up a customer, I begin asking her the standard questions that I’m required to ask as a cashier. She is buying a tablet.)

    Me: “Would you like to add on a year of coverage to this in case it gets dropped or stops working?”

    Customer: “No, it’s only $100. If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one.”

    A Paltry Understanding Of Poultry

    | Alabaster, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Egg and cheese. That’s poultry, right?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Poultry. Poultry means vegetarian, right?”

    Me: “Um, sometimes vegetarians eat poultry and animal products. It just depends on the person.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. People are just changing all of this political correctness and I don’t know what things mean anymore. You’ll ask stupid questions when you’re my age and people change what words mean.”

    Required: One Marauder’s Map

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a large retail store that requires maps for customers. An older woman approaches me with said map…)

    Woman: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

    Woman: “Well, that map:” *points to the one bolted to the floor* “It shows me where I’m currently standing, but this one:” *shows the paper map she’s holding* “doesn’t. Why?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the map you actually carry throughout the store. There’s no way for it to know where you are at any time.”

    Woman: “Well, all of your maps should show me where I am in the store!”

    Me: *taking her paper map* “Let me see if I can get the GPS on this paper map fixed for you.”

    Remotely Stupid

    , | Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Cellphone Carrier]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi! I would like to update my cellphone.”

    Me: “Sure! I can help you. I see you have an iPhone. Can you please go into your settings?”

    Customer: “Oh! Do I have to do it? I thought you had to press a button from your computer and work your magic.”

    Making A Mockingjay Out Of You

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (I’m working in the box office on a slow night.)

    Customer: *after movie gets out* “Can I get a refund? That movie was horrible! I hated the ending!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you see?”

    Customer:  ”Catching Fire. It just ended! How am I supposed to know what happens next? It was getting really good and then it just stopped. I don’t understand why they would do that!”

    Me: “Oh, well there is actually another movie coming out. It’s originally based on a book trilogy; Catching Fire is based off of the second book.”

    Customer: “So that’s not the end?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the next movie will probably be out in a couple years.”

    Customer: “So it’s like Breaking Dawn?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “Oh, that makes so much more sense! Bye!”

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