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    Not Quite Wedded To The Details

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Funny Names

    (I work in a bridal shop where in order to do pretty much anything we need the brides information, and the wedding date. A girl comes in with her dad to be measured for a dress and tells me the bride called our store.)

    Me: “Do you happen to know if anyone else ordered the dress yet?”

    Dad: “I’m not sure.”

    Me: “Okay, when is the wedding? I can look up the paperwork and find out.”

    Dad: “…” *blank stare*

    Me: “Okay… What’s the bride’s name, then?”

    Dad: “I don’t know…”

    (I understand the dad not knowing, but the daughter was at least 14. How do you be in a wedding and not know anything about it?)

    Situation Goes South (Park) Very Quickly

    | Tabernacle, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Movies & TV

    (The year is 1998. The South Park movie just came out and tons of kids attempting to sneak in to see it. I’m now seeing a mother and son.)

    Mother: “Hey, I’d like two tickets for South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut please.”

    (I look at the son, who appears to be no older than five years old.)

    Me: “Um… ma’am. I’d hate to inform you, but this movie is not suitable for your child as it’s rated-R.”

    Mother: “Why not?”

    Me: “First off, even though it’s a cartoon, it’s NOT made for kids as it’s filled with swearing, offensive humor, and general themes not appropriate for kids. Second, South Park is well known by many parents throughout the state for its controversy.”

    Mother: “I don’t care. It’s a cartoon, so it’s for kids.”

    Kid: “Yeah! Adults are too old for cartoons.”

    Me: *sigh* “Enjoy the show…”

    (20 minutes later, the parent shows up again with her kid, visibly angry.)


    Me: “Ma’am, I told you explicitly that this wasn’t for kids, but you ignored me as ‘cartoons are only for kids.’”

    Kid: “MOM! TAKE ME BACK TO THE F****** MOVIE, YOU UNCLE F********!”

    Mother: “You do not use that language with me, [Kid]! GET ME THE MANAGER NOW!”

    Me: “Okay!”

    Manager: “What’s the problem here, [My Name]?”

    Me: “This woman is rather mad here?”

    Manager: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Mother: “This movie was not suitable for my child!”

    Manager: “Which one?”


    Manager: “I think that answers my question. Ma’am, I believe [My Name] did tell you that this movie is not suitable for your child.”

    Mother: “It’s a d*** cartoon. It should be for kids only. That’s made to corrupt the youth!” *she then hits the manager with her purse*

    Manager: “Ma’am, please refrain from unruly behavior.”

    (She then punches me in the face, and starts to harass me verbally.)

    Manager: “I’ve had enough. GET OUT!”

    Mother: “Why the h*** should I?! Give me back my f****** money, b****!”

    Manager: “You’re harassing us and you’ve hurt my employee. Now get out or else I’ll call the police and you will be banned from the theater!”

    Mother: “I think you’re mistaken.”

    (She then attacked other customers. We called the police and she was arrested. She was sentenced to a month in jail.)

    The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

    Coworker: “You look stressed.”

    Me: “I am!”

    Coworker: “Why?”

    Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

    Should Have Framed It Correctly

    | New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    (I work in a framing store. I have been at this job only a couple of weeks when this happens – all I knew was basically that we sold frames. I need experience on the phone so I have to start taking calls. A call comes in.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Company]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

    Caller: “Oh, hi. I made an Internet order with you and you seem to have sent me the wrong size.”

    (We sometimes do Internet orders for pre-made frames. At this point I’m not super familiar with the sizes we can do.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that; if you pass on the details to me I’ll speak to my manager.”

    Caller: “That’s great. It was the tiger-lily, and you’ve sent me the size eight when I ordered the size ten.”

    Me: “Size eight? Uh… ok, well we may have to look you up in the system to find the details.”

    Caller: ‘Do you have a size ten?”

    Me: *totally confused but in it too deep now and the woman is getting angry* ‘Uh… I’m sure we can fix the problem for you. I’m just going to get my manager to look for your order and give you a call back.”

    (I take her name and details and end the call, thinking my manager can work out what’s happening, because I have no idea. She looks in the system for a customer order with an artwork described as ‘tiger-lily’ but finds nothing. I explain the size issue, but the sizing doesn’t match what we offer. My manager tells me to call the woman back and try to get more information.)

    Caller: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi there. It’s [My Name] calling back from [Company].”

    Caller: “Oh, hi.”

    (The caller thinks I’m the manager now, having just spoken to me five minutes ago.)

    Caller: “I made an Internet order for the tiger-lily and it’s the wrong size, and I just wanted to return it and get the right one. It’s the tiger-lily.”

    Me: *it’s starting to dawn on me what’s going on* “I’m sorry. Is this for clothing?”

    Caller: *angry now* ‘No! It’s the tiger-lily!! The bikini—”

    Me: “A bikini? We don’t sell those. We sell frames.”


    Caller: “Is this phone number [not our phone number]?”

    Me: “No, it’s [our phone number].”


    Caller: “I’m sorry I’ve called the wrong number.” *click*

    (Of course, now that I am experienced I would know the error straight away, but I have sadly not received such an entertaining call since that day.)

    How To Package Crazy

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (Due to a mistake on the shipper’s part, I need to go to the local UPS depot to pick up a package sent to me. As this is a depot, not a store-front, they only have a single desk off to the side for customer service, and today there’s an unusually long line for assistance. This happens once the person in front of me gets up.)

    Employee: “Yes, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to set up a PO box, please.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, this is UPS, not the post office. I—”

    Customer: “Look, I’ve been in line for a half an hour now. You’re going to help me or I’ll get your supervisor!”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor on duty right now, and that doesn’t change the fact that you’re at the wrong location.”

    Customer: “Don’t you tell me I’m in the wrong location! I live a block and a half from here; this is DEFINITELY the right location!”

    Employee: “No, it’s NOT, ma’am. This is the UNITED PARCEL SERVICE. You are looking for the US POSTAL SERVICE. Their office is across the street and down two.”

    Customer: “Oh, you’re just trying to confuse me. This is the same place! This is just the union one and that’s the non-union. Now help me with my box!”

    Guy Behind Me: “LADY! Do you go to a car dealer and demand to see their selection of birthday cards, because ‘car’ and ‘card’ are one letter apart? Because that’s what you’re doing here! Now get out of the line you’ve been in for less than FIVE minutes and stop harassing that poor man!”

    (Somehow this was the employee’s fault, and she took another minute yelling at him about ‘letting that guy talk to me that way.’ Finally she storms off, yelling that she will ‘call President Obama on you all,’ and I step up.)

    Me: “Yes, can I pick up my FedEx package? Oh, and also I’d like some of whatever pills she’s taking!”

    Employee: “I think that’s the problem. She didn’t take her pills today!”

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