• A Pain In The Nugget
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    Needs A Stark Explanation

    | France | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I work at a small movie theater, selling tickets. We are on a slow day one month before the first “Iron Man” movie’s theatrical release. A tired looking man in his 50s shows up at the register.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

    Man: *Looking right thru me*Iron Man!”

    Me: “Oh, you want to see the upcoming Iron Man movie? I am sorry but this title will only be released next mo…”

    Man: “Iron Man!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you may be too early to see Iron Man. This movie is not released in France yet. It isn’t even scheduled for now. The movies planned today are…”


    (At this point, I don’t know if I am upset or amused by this ridiculous situation.)

    Me: “Again, sorry, sir. This title will not be screened before next month.”

    Man: “I want to see Iron Man!”

    Me: “Yes, you stated that clearly.”

    (For half a minute, we stare at each other awkwardly.)

    Man: “How many for Iron Man?”

    Me: *exasperated* “I CANNOT sell you tickets for a show that IS NOT scheduled yet.”

    (My manager, working in a room nearby, must have heard me raise my voice. He stormed out of his office and takes me away from the register.)

    Manager: *quietly to me* “You must inform and serve the customer with respect. Go on break. I take care of him”

    Me: “Seriously…”

    Manager: *To the customer* “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

    Man: “Iron Man!”

    (I decided to take my “break” in the room nearby. I heard my manager struggling to explain over and over again that Iron Man was not screened today. The customer finally left and my confused manager apologized to me.)

    Won’t Get Her Pie In The Sky

    | WA, Australia | Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in an Australian department store which has a food hall. An elderly customer approaches our bakery which sells fresh cakes and pies.)

    Customer: “Hello, dearie, I’d like a steak and kidney pie.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t sell steak and kidney pies, but we do have a selection of others.”

    (I proceed to read the selection to the customer.)

    Customer: “I’ll have the beef and mushroom pie, then.”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    Customer: “Can you pack it well? I want to take it on the plane.”

    Me: “The plane?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m flying back to London today.”

    Me: “You want to take a fresh pie with meat products in it on an international flight back to England?”

    Customer: “Yes, of course.”

    Me: “You can’t take food that isn’t sealed out of the country and into another one.”

    Customer: “Of course I can. Just sell me the pie”

    (I sold the customer the pie and I still wonder how far she made it before customs stopped her.)

    A-Salt-ed By Stupidity, Part 2

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work for an online gourmet food shop. They sell all kinds of neat things, ranging from gourmet sea salts to flavored sugar and spice blends. I was working the phones when I got this beauty of a call.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do your natural sea salts have any sodium in them? I need sodium-free natural sea salts.”

    (Now I know they make fake ‘sea salt’ in labs for people who shouldn’t have too much salt, but these are NATURAL sea salts. CLEARLY LABELED.)

    Me: “I’m afraid they do, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Every last one of them? I need to find natural sea salt that doesn’t have any sodium in them!”

    Me: “I’m… very sorry, ma’am. All of our NATURAL sea salts do have sodium in them.”

    Customer: “Ain’t that some bull****. F*** this place.” *click*


    | Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am ordering fries and a drink. I am in front of an older lady, who also orders fries in her meal.)

    Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you?

    Me: “Hi, I’ll have a medium fry and a mocha frappe.”

    (I finish my order, for here, and step aside to wait for my order to be completed.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a quarter pounder meal. Make it large, please.”

    (She also finishes her order and steps aside next to me to wait for her food. There are three trays waiting to be filled when an employee places a medium fry on my tray. After a few moments the lady takes a couple fries from my tray, not realizing whose order they are from. Trying not to be rude, I don’t step in right away. An employee then places a quarter pounder and large fries on her tray. The lady suddenly realizes her mistake.)

    Customer: “Oh, my, is this yours?”

    Me: “Um, yeah I think so.”

    Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you say something?! Here, take my large fries since I just ate out of yours. I am so sorry!”

    (She switches our fries before I can even respond.)

    Me: “Oh, thank you.”

    Customer: “No, I’m the one who ate your fries!”

    An Extra-Large A**-Hole

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (The pizza shop where I work has several in-store specials, including $11.99 for a large combination. Unless a coupon or special says otherwise, it’s $2 to upgrade to an extra-large pizza. A regular customer comes in after placing an order over the phone. He is always a little curt and slightly drunk, but I’ve never had a problem with him before.)

    Me: “Okay, you had an extra-large combination pizza. Anything else today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “That comes to $13.99.”

    Customer: “They said it was $11.99.”

    Me: “The special is $11.99 for a large, and $2 for an extra-large.”

    Customer: “But he said $11.99 on the phone! I spoke to [New Coworker], and he said $11.99!”

    Me: “It’s possible he was confused. It’s $11.99 for a large combo, and $2 to upgrade to extra-large.”

    Customer: “Look, I asked him twice. I wrote it down!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it’s always $2 more for an extra-large. It’s on the poster in the window. If [New Coworker] said $11.99 for an extra-large, he was mistaken.”

    Customer: “I wrote it down!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

    Customer: “Do you want me to leave the pizza here? I’m walking away.”

    (I turn to my manager, who’s working nearby.)

    Me: “Uh, what should I…?”

    Manager: *quietly* “Just give it to him. It’s okay.”

    Me: *to the customer* “Okay sir, $11.99. Sorry about the confusion.”

    (The customer says nothing and hands me his credit card. The machine processes and asks to print a receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like your receipt today?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “No.”

    (I finish the transaction and close the register.)

    Me: “Okay, have a good day, sir!”

    Customer: “Can I get a receipt?”

    Me: “…”

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