(One of our self-serve machines is currently unable to accept or dispense any cash. There are four signs on the machine stating this. We have four other machines that are working fine and can accept cash. A customer walks straight up to the machine with signs on it, ignoring the four other vacant machines.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am; I am just letting you know that these machines are EFT only. They can’t accept cash.”

(The customer brushes me off.)

Customer: “Yes, yes, whatever.”

(At the end of her transaction, she yells at me to attend to her.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Where do you put the coins?”

Me: “This machine is EFT only. It is unable to accept cash.”

Customer: “Yes, but where do I put the coins?”

(I talk a little bit slower.)

Me: “This machine can not accept cash.”

Customer: “So where do I put the coins?”

Me: “Would you like me to move you to another machine, as this one will not take any cash?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I’ll pay with my card. You really should put signs up, or tell people they can’t pay with cash though.”

(I looks at the four signs individually, and then back to the customer.)

Me: “You’re right. Signs on the machine might help. Or I should start telling customers when they walk up to the machine.”

Customer: “Yes you should! It would have saved me a lot of time and hassle!”

Related:
Currently, They Cannot See Currency

(My family are visiting my mother’s hometown in China. We are at a noodle shop for breakfast, where I am buying a stick of fried dough. I am a 12-year-old American-born-Chinese, so I can speak Chinese relatively well.)

Me: “Hello, can I get a—”

(A businessman barges in front of me, cutting me off mid-sentence.)

Businessman: “I need two sticks, hurry!”

(The man behind the stall looks shocked, but still takes the man’s money before reaching to get the fried dough sticks.)

Me: “Excuse me, I was in front of you. You cut in front of me.”

Businessman: “No, you weren’t! You were still walking over here when I was ordering! You should respect your elders! Kids these days!”

(He continues berating me until the man gives him his fried dough sticks. I glare at the businessman as he walks away, before turning to the man at the stall.)

Man: “Wow, you must be so brave to stick up like that! That guy has been bothering me for ages! He’s always acting like that.”

Me: “You’re welcome. So, could I please have a stick of fried dough?”

(The man happily gives me my stick of fried dough, smiling the whole time. He said that I made his day!)

(I supervise over the electronics area. I like to get to know the people that are working for me. It is the first day on the sales floor for a coworker just out of high school. I have just gotten the initiative to sign up for classes to get certified in Windows and perhaps improve my work situation. I am telling him about it.)

Me: “How about you? Any plans to go to college or work in a trade?”

Coworker: “I respect hard work to move up, more than what college fails to follow through on. I’d rather start at the bottom and work my way—”

Customer: “WHERE THE F*** IS THE G** D*** BATHROOM?”

(My coworker points roughly ten feet to the customer’s left, waits a second, and turns to me.)

Coworker: “Is this what I can expect without college?”

Me: “Higher education helps, but it isn’t a guarantee. You have to show the work and initiative to get into a position in a place where things like that don’t happen. If there is one person that no one respects, it’s the guy working at the bottom.”

(He finished his shift, but only returned again for his paycheck. On the way out, he stopped to thank me and inform me he’s applying for scholarships.)

(I’m in line at technical support to get my laptop fixed. A very rude and impatient customer cuts me, and slams his phone down on the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me! You just cut me.”

Rude Customer: *ignoring me* ” You son of a b****! You were supposed to fix my phone eight days ago! What’s with this bull-s***!”

Tech Support: “Sir, we told you; there is nothing wrong with the phone. You just don’t have a sim-card in there.”

Rude Customer: “Bull-s***! I put in a sim-card, and it still doesn’t work!”

Tech Support: “Okay, then. If I see that there is no sim-card, you’re going to apologize to the woman you cut, apologize to me, and get out of my store before I plant my foot so far up your a**, that your grandchildren get the mark.”

(The technician takes the phone and opens the back cover. He starts to laugh.)

Rude Customer: “What’s so f****** funny?!”

Tech Support: “GET. OUT. NOW.”

(The 6’1, 227 lb, tech stands up. He takes his glasses off, and puts them on the counter.)

(The rude customer turns white, then turns to me.)

Rude Customer: “Sorry!”

(The customer literally makes a run out the store, while leaving his phone behind. The technician sits back down and acts as though nothing happened.)

(I am a manager at a small sunglasses store in a mall. I am not currently in the store.)

Customer: “Yo, clean these for me.”

(He throws the glasses at the clerk.)

Clerk: “Oh, okay. Here let me get a cloth and the cleaning spray.”

(The glasses land on the ground because they were thrown.)

Clerk: “Let me get those, and get them clean for y—”

Customer: “B****, you wrecked my glasses! The icon’s missing; you owe me a brand new pair!”

(Icons fit on the side of the glasses to jazz them up.)

Clerk: “Sir, you threw your glasses at me. I didn’t even see if you had the icons. Let’s look and see if there’s one on the floor here.”

(The clerk very patiently starts searching, even going so far as to get a broom and try and sweep under displays, just in case.)

Customer: “You wrecked my glasses; give me a new pair now!”

Clerk: “Sir, I can’t do that. Your glasses are right here; they’re fine. You know what? I’ll find you another pair of icons, on me, for the trouble.”

(Icons cost $15 a pair. My staff know that we’d authorize them to take a loss on such a small item to make a customer’s day.)

Customer: “B****, these were special order. I’m not leaving until you give me two pairs of these sunglasses to make up for you f****** up.”

Clerk: “I’m not giving you any sunglasses. I offered you a free pair of icons. Don’t swear at me again, or I will call security and have you escorted out.”

Customer: “Get your manager now, b****!”

(I live across the street from the mall. My staff knows I’ll come over for any reason. My clerk calls me, and I can hear she’s almost crying. I tell her I’ll be there in 10 minutes. The clerk hangs up with me and tells the customer.)

Customer: “I ain’t got 10 minutes to wait for some other b**** to get here. Give me two pairs of glasses to make up for this s***, NOW!”

Clerk: “Look, I’m not giving you anything. I’ll tell you now, my manager’s not going to give you anything either. If you can’t wait for her, leave me your name and number, and I’ll have her call you.”

Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** to call me, and I’ll get my free glasses.”

Clerk: “Alright, can I have your name and number?”

Customer: “No, you can’t have my personal info. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

Clerk: “I need your name and number if you want the manager to call you.”

Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** my name is Mutha-f**** Jones.”

(The customer stomps out. I arrive a couple minutes later to an empty store, save for a shaken clerk.)

Me: “Where’s the guy who’s freaking out?”

Clerk: “He said he couldn’t wait, but you can call him to discuss it. Here’s his info.”

(She hands me a card with his name on it.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Clerk: “Yep. Maybe you can call 411 and get them to look up Mr Jones for you.”

Me: “I’ll get right on that.”

(I look at the security footage, and am pretty sure he doesn’t have the icons to begin with. The crazy dude actually comes back. I call security and give him h*** for trying to scam my clerk.)