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    You’re Not In Kansas Anymore

    , | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    (I work as a supervisor taking calls. In my center, I have the highest authority on the phones. My name is common in Spain, Greece, and India.)

    Coworker: “I don’t know what this customer wants. She requested a supervisor, got me, and said I wasn’t good enough to handle the problem.”

    Me: “Okay, send her through.” *transfers* “Hello, ma’am. My name is [My Name]. I’m the supervisor on duty, and would like to know how I can help.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your supervisor.”

    Me: “I apologize. I’m unable to transfer you to anyone else. I am the top tier of support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to someone in the United States.”

    Me: “We only have call centers in the continental US. I’m located in Texas, and am waiting to know how I can assist with what you were calling about.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I am from India. You sound like me. You’re from India and the law says if I ask to speak with someone in the US that you have to transfer me.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have never heard of such a law. I’m physically unable to transfer you to anyone else, and have been patiently waiting to know how to assist you. Please let me help you with the reason you called, or I will have to end this call.”

    Customer: “Transfer me to who I was speaking with before.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I can not transfer you anywhere else. Now, either tell me what I can do to help, or you can call back if you no longer wish to speak with me, as I can’t transfer you. Fair warning, though. We currently have a 30 minute hold time.”

    Customer: “I would like to know what time I leave tomorrow.”

    Me: “You depart at 0430, and land at 0625. What is your next request?”

    Customer: “That was all.” *click*

    (Exhausted with dealing with the caller, I look over to the only other person who has the same level of authority that I do.)

    Colleague: “Aren’t you the one who everyone always confuses with the recorded message because you have such a generic sounding accent?”

    No Refunds From A Fire Sale

    | Clemmons, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (There is a customer in the drive thru when we have to evacuate all of the employees due to a fire. The cashier has already taken her money but lays it down on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The building is on fire. We have to leave.”

    (An hour later, we are standing there watching it burn as the firefighters try to put it out. The same customer walks up.)

    Customer: “I demand to see a manager.”

    Me: “That would be me. May I ask what you need?”

    Customer: “Can I get either my food or my money back since I already paid for it?”

    Me: “Sure. Would you like that extra, extra well done?”

    This Customer Is A Train-Wreck

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (A woman comes in with her daughter.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to collect some pre-booked tickets.”

    Me: “Sure! Have you got the booking reference printout?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Oh, well, never mind! If you have it written down in another format or maybe saved in your phone, I should still be able to find it.”

    Customer: “No. I don’t have it. The girl who served me last time didn’t ask for it. I just put my card in the machine.”

    Me: “I’m sure you must have misunderstood. We cannot issue tickets without some type of secondary reference. Do you know the postcode associated with the billing address, and could I have your surname?”

    Customer: “I don’t see why I need to give you those details. Look, I just want to print my daughter’s tickets and go back to work. You’re costing me money here.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but unless you can give me more details such as name, postcode, and destination, I can’t print your tickets. Look—” *swivels computer screen so the customer can see* “—here are the search fields I have for when there is no collection reference number available. Unless I can fill in two of these, I cannot print your tickets.”

    Customer: *turning to daughter* “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAVE THE REFERENCE NUMBER?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Sorry, mum, you said I shouldn’t waste paper and the ticket people didn’t need it.”

    Customer: “Well, clearly they do. YOU’RE ALL COSTING ME MONEY HERE!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but one of the terms is that you provide a reference for collection. Could you please let me try and help you with some of your other details?”

    Customer: *snappily* “FINE! It’s [Surname] and [postcode].”

    Me: “I’m sorry; nothing’s come up.” *shifts screen around again so she can see* “See? Could you have used a different postcode?”

    Customer: “No. Look, this really isn’t good enough. Why won’t the destination work on its own?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but hundreds of people travel every day from [Our Station] to [Major London Station]. I’m just thinking: whose email did you put in? Since it’s quiet in here, I could let you around the back to use one of the staff computers to log in and find me the reference number. I should tell you though, that this is against company policy and that I am doing this at my own risk. I could face disciplinary action.”

    Customer: “It’s [Daughter]’s email. Can she just do it? Can I go? I need to get back to work.”

    Me: “If yours was the payment card, then I am afraid you will need to wait until your daughter has accessed her emails since the reference number is useless without the payment card and vice versa.”

    Customer: “Fine. [Daughter], go in the back with this idiot and see if you can’t find this bleeding reference number between your half-a-brain-cell each.”

    (The daughter nips around to my side of the booth, accesses her email, and within 30 seconds I have the tickets up. The woman inserts her card and collects her tickets, and before she leaves decides to have one more dig at me for how slow I was to get her tickets up on the system.)

    Me: “I’m sorry it took so long to resolve your issue, but perhaps next time you might consider writing the reference number down? You needn’t print it; in fact [Train Company] offers to send a free SMS containing the details to your phone. It would save an awful lot of problems.”

    Customer: “Or, you know, they could just hire competent staff who don’t need reference numbers!” *to Daughter* “Look at all the money you’ve cost me! I’m selling your Xbox when I get home!”

    (She stormed out. Fortunately I haven’t seen her since, although the daughter stopped by on her return journey to thank me for helping her.)

    5 Stories Of Summertime Sadness

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Summertime Sadness Summer is here, so it is time to dust off those passports and go travelling, just don’t go travelling with these examples:

    1. Giving The French Stick (3,873 thumbs up)
    2. There Is A Meth To This Madness (3,510 thumbs up)
    3. Mile High Blood Pressure (3,478 thumbs up)
    4. What’s Red Or Blue And Dumb All Over (3,017 thumbs up)
    5. There Is Norway I Can Understand You (4,611 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    That Snobby Attitude Isn’t Working For You

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a high-end gourmet grocery store as a cashier. Most of our customers are well-off. I work within walking distance from the store. I often cut through the parking lot of another grocery store to cross the street to my place of employment. One day after my shift I am crossing the parking lot of the other grocery store towards home. I DO NOT work at the other store. I hear my name being called and see a snobby lady I recognize as one of my regular customers gesturing for me to come to her. Not wanting to be rude, I walk over to her and to see what she wants.)

    Customer: *snaps her fingers* “Finish loading my groceries into my car!”

    (She then gets into the drivers seat to wait. I stand there stunned for a moment then go to the driver’s side window.)

    Me: *politely* “I am off duty and I do not work actually for this particular grocery store.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I am not stupid! I know you do not work here but I am a regular customer of your store and you should help me!”

    (I just look at her open mouthed and walk away. She flips out and starts yelling after me.)

    Customer: “Your manager will hear about this!”

    (The next day I am called to the office and my manager told me that the lady called and said I refused to help her pack her car. When I explained to my manager that this happened after my shift and at the grocery store across the street, he called the lady back right in front of me and sternly told her that if she ever harassed one of his employees or made a false complaint again he would ban her from the store. I never saw her face in the store again!)


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