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    Half-Baked Conviction

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls into the bakery from another state wanting to order some baked goods for a friend of hers in our city. She begins the conversation trying to ascertain that we were a popular bakery, and that people in the city actually buy from us. This line of questioning takes about 10 minutes.)

    Caller: “Between you, me, and the light post, do your baked goods actually taste good?”

    Fickle Over A Nickel, Part 2

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I am currently checking out a line of customers. I hand a lady her change which is roughly $0.94. She counts it then hands me back a nickel.)

    Customer: “This is not a nickel. This is Canadian. I want an American nickel.

    Me: “Ma’am, it is still worth five cents. Any store will accept it.”

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me call my manager. She has to open my drawer for me so that I can exchange the nickel.”

    (I call the manager and pray for her to hurry up.)

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    (My manager is being very slow and thankfully the customer behind her pulls some change out of his pocket and hands her a nickel.)

    Customer #2: “Here, ma’am. Take this.”

    Customer #1: “Thank you.”

    (Customer #1 begins to walk to the door but overhears me talking to Customer #2.)

    Me: “Here, sir, would you like this Canadian nickel, it is still worth five cents.”

    Customer #2: “Thank you.”

    Customer #1: *standing half way out the door shouting at me* “IT IS NOT AMERICAN!”

    Fickle Over A Nickel

    So Closed But So Far

    | UT, USA | Bad Behavior

    (It’s a Sunday, when we close early at 5 pm. A couple walks in at 4:56, but since we can’t lock the doors until exactly 5 pm, there isn’t much we can do. I’ve been hovering near them for a few minutes, and it’s now 5:15.)

    Wife: “Excuse me, where is the toddler section?”

    Me: “Right here. However, we are getting ready to close, so let me know if I can help you find anything.”

    Wife: *absently* “Right, thanks.”

    (Another ten minutes later, and the couple is still shopping.)

    Husband: “Do you guys have any shorts for my daughter?”

    Me: *at this point pretty annoyed* “They are in this aisle here.”

    (The husband and wife wander over near another coworker of mine, and I see an opportunity.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], what time is it?”

    Coworker: “About 5:30.”

    Me: *within earshot* “Guess we aren’t getting out of here anytime soon.”

    Wife: “Oh, are you guys closing soon?”

    Coworker: “We closed at 5:00.”

    Husband: “Ha ha! Guess we better get going, huh?”

    Crazy Is Flowering

    , | NJ, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work in a flower delivery company call center, in customer service. We take orders and send them out to local floral shops all over the country. I’m working in ‘order modification.’)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name] speaking. Can I start by getting your name?”

    Customer: “My name? Why do you need that?”

    Me: “I need to identify who is calling and how to address you, but that’s okay. Can I have your recipient’s name?”

    Customer:Recipipant? What’s a recipipant?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, the RECIPIENT is who is getting the flowers. May I have their name?”

    Customer: “Well… I don’t know what a recipient is but the delivery getter’s name is [Recipient]. I need you to change my order. I need you to change my name to spell it the correct way.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I was able to find your order by the recipient’s name. I can change your spelling of your name for you. Can you tell me the correct spelling?”

    Customer: “No. I will not tell you. You have no right to ask me things this personal. You can fix it yourself. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

    Supervisor: “I didn’t know you were so intrusive and psychic. How do you get all the crazies?”

    The Bitter Taste Of The Law

    , , | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

    Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

    Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

    (I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

    Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

    (And she did!)

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