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    Jealousy Is A (Rude) Green-Eyed Monster

    | Owen Sound, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

    (I am helping a customer in line when the phone starts ringing.)

    Customer: “Here, I’ll fix that.” *picks up phone and hangs up*

    Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. The people calling are customers, too.”

    Customer: “I don’t want anyone to come between us.”

    (The phone starts ringing again.)

    Customer: “You need to help me first!”

    Me: “Sir, I promise not to answer the phone until we’re finished.”

    Customer: “I can’t take that chance!” *hangs up the phone again*

    Rude As Sin In Sin City

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA |

    Customer: “Wow, you’re ugly as sin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “This is Vegas! You girls are supposed to be hot. I can’t believe they’d hire an ugly girl in Vegas!”

    Me: “Would you like me to get you a more attractive waitress?”

    Customer: “Yes, definitely!”

    My Day’s About To Get Hairy

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”

    Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”

    Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”

    Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”

    Me: “Um, thanks.”

    Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”

    Me: “Yes. I like them.”

    Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*

    America: Land Of The Delusional

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry

    (I am an Asian American girl without any accent. I’m working the information desk in a busy, urban hospital setting. An older, kindly woman approaches my desk.)

    Woman: *in a perfect Irish brogue* “I just wanted to ask you a question.”

    Me: “Sure. What can I help you with?”

    Woman: “Are you American?”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Woman: *smiles kindly* “No, you’re not.” *walks away*

    An Empty Compliment Deserves An Empty Stomach

    | Brisbane, Australia | Food & Drink

    (I am working one day I am serving a man in his late 60′s.)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Oh, hello! I like your hair!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Oh, thank you!”

    Customer: *beaming* “Just kidding!”

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