• My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    November Top Story Roundup

    Not Always Right | Roundups

    November Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of November!

    1. A (Po)Lite Snack (4,174 thumbs up)
      An adorably polite little boy takes his mom out for (a light) dinner and a movie!
    2. She Has A Real Problem (4,170 thumbs up)
      A brave coworker stands up for a bagger and takes a stand against discrimination.
    3. Love Is Not Easily Provoked (3,653 thumbs up)
      His mother may be a bigot, but this little boy already knows that all you need is love!
    4. Inhuman Resources (3,502 thumbs up)
      A snooty customer tries to pull rank, only to get rank pulled on her.
    5. Never Again (3,262 thumbs up)
      A bunch of wannabe customers learns that real tattoos are earned!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Last Of The Summer Whine

    | UK | Food & Drink

    (The previous day, the shelf that held all our wine collapsed. This has resulted in the aisle being flooded with wine and closed. I’m working on the customer service desk.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, young man, I was wondering if you had any red wine available?”

    Me: “Ah, well I’m afraid we’ve had an incident and all the red wine we have in store today has been smashed, so no, I’m afraid we have no red wine available. We should have some more in tomorrow if that’s any good to you?”

    Customer: “Hmm… well, do you have any available today?”

    Me: “Well, no. The shelf literally collapsed, and everything we had was on that shelf, and so everything we had is broken. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer: *raising voice* “Well, young man, you’re not making any sense. I would like some red wine now please.”

    Me: “Well, the best I can do is put you some aside when the delivery comes in tomorrow. Any wine we had today was unfortunately smashed. People are actually trying to clear up the mess now.”

    Customer: “You are incompetent! I would like some red wine now, please!”

    (At this point another colleague who has been nearby listening in comes over to help.)

    Customer: *to my coworker* “Hey, you! This colleague is babbling. I would like some wine. Can I get some wine, please?!”

    Colleague: “Well, that depends on two very important things: how desperate are you, and do you have a straw?”

    Customer: “I do not understand. All of you are babies, and you’re all dumb and ridiculous. You’ll all be fired!”

    Colleague: “Well, maybe if you spent more time listening, and less time shouting you would understand, my colleague here has already explained everything, as have the colleagues clearing up the alcohol aisle that you were shouting at earlier.”

    Customer: “I’ll go to [competitor]! Yeah, you won’t like that, will you?! That shut you up! I’ll never shop here again!”

    Colleague: “We’ll hold you to it. Now, please stop assaulting our staff and leave before I call the police.”

    Customer: “You… I’m… grrr… wine… ARGH!” *leaves*

    Cannot Make It Any Clearer

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “My son is doing a project and he needs something that looks like a window. Are laminate pouches see-through without being heated?”

    Me: “Not really. They are kind of frosty.”

    (I take one out to show her.)

    Customer: “Oh, shoot. It’s not clear enough.”

    Me: “Well, I can put it through the laminator for you. It doesn’t have to have anything in it in order to seal it.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, once it goes through it will just look like a thin sheet of plastic and it will be completely see-through.”

    Customer: “Okay, how much would 5 11″x17″ sheets cost?”

    (I tell her the price.)

    Customer: “Wow! That’s really expensive for laminating sheets that don’t even have anything in them!”

    Me: “They are the same price whether you have something in them or not.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because if you had something in it, you would be supplying it, not us. When you get something laminated, you are just paying for the pouch itself, not the stuff inside it.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to pay that much. I mean, I’m not even putting anything in them.”

    Me: “But if you put something in them they won’t look like windows anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I just don’t understand why it’s so much when you’re not even putting anything in the pouches.”

    Me: “Because you don’t pay for the stuff that goes in the pouches.”

    Customer: “Nope, I’ll think of something else. It’s too expensive for not putting anything in them!”

    Does Not Com-Poo-te

    | TX, USA | Technology

    (I work at a computer repair store.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my laptop won’t turn on.”

    Me: “Okay, let me check it out for a few minutes and see if I can’t figure out what’s going on.”

    (I proceed to run my typical quick diagnostics when a computer won’t turn on. I try a different AC adapter, hold down the power for 30 seconds, etc. but nothing seems to work.)

    Me: “Well, sir, it looks like it’s still not wanting to work, but I can send it out for a fee. What happened to it?”

    Customer: “Well, my toilet exploded on it.”

    Me: “…Excuse me… what?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my toilet exploded on it.”

    Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we can’t fix that, but we have a bunch of new laptops you can look at.”

    (I then proceeded to scrub myself all the way up to my elbows in the bathroom, appalled that he didn’t tell me that until AFTER I had handled it!)

    Hot Cross Bunny

    | Australia | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (The store’s co-owner and I are manning the till when a pair of customers arrive. They seem to be a married couple. There is no one else in the store.)

    Woman: “Oh, rabbits! Look at the rabbits. I want a rabbit.”

    Man: “No. You have guinea pigs already. You can’t have both, they’ll fight.”

    (She pouts, and he goes to the rodent aisle, leaving her behind. She stares at the rabbit cage for a few minutes.)

    Woman: “Is this a boy rabbit or a girl rabbit?”

    Me: “That one’s female, but we have another in a different cage which I don’t know the gender of. I can check if you want.”

    Woman: “Oh yes, please!”

    (I get the other rabbit, which is younger and fluffier than the one she was looking at before. The co-owner shows me how to sex it and we establish that it is male.)

    Woman: “He’s so pretty!”

    Me: “Yeah, he’s a cute little fella, isn’t he?”

    Woman: “I’ll take this rabbit!” *she holds out her arms for the rabbit*

    (I think she just wants to cuddle it for a little while, so I show her how to hold it properly and leave her to it. A few minutes later, the man comes back to the cashier and she runs over to him.)

    Man: “You can’t have that rabbit. Put it back.”

    Woman: “No, please! They no fight!”

    Man: “Yes, they will. You can’t have it.”

    Woman: “No, I want it!”

    (She clutches the poor rabbit tightly and buries her nose in its fur, stomping her feet like a child.)

    Man: “Put it back now.”

    (The woman walks away from him, burying her face even deeper into the fur. He trails after her, telling her sternly to put it back while she keeps her back to him, muttering ‘no, no, no’ over and over, eventually running out of the store and into the carpark.)

    Co-owner: “Excuse me, but could you please stay inside the store while handling our animals.”

    (She freezes, allowing the man to catch up and steer her back to the rabbit’s cage, which he opens.)

    Man: “Put it back in there now.”

    (At this point, she notices that we do have a male guinea pig housed in the same cage as the rabbit. It was fighting with the other male pigs, and there where no other cages available. She blows up again.)

    Woman: “See! See! I take this rabbit, they don’t fight! They don’t fight!”

    Man: “I don’t care. Put the bloody rabbit back right now or I will get rid of the guinea pigs and you will never have another pet!”

    (She whines, stomps her foot again, and then dumps the rabbit back into it’s cage while staring accusingly at the man.)

    Man: “There, done.”

    (She wails and stomps, her arms crossed over her chest. He says nothing and she runs to their car. The man then pays for his guinea pig food, and leaves with a look of sheer ‘please, kill me now’ plastered across his face.)

    Me: *to the co-owner* “Letting her hold that rabbit was a bad idea, wasn’t it?”

    Co-owner “Probably.”

    (For any concerned, the rabbit was fine, and it found a sane home later that week.)

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