October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Those Who Can’t, iTeach

| GA, USA | Technology

Customer: “I want to see the new iPods. I am interested in one because I don’t want to buy an iPhone and be locked into a data plan.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the great thing about the iPod! With the addition of FaceTime, you can video chat people over wifi.”

Customer: “FaceTime, hmm? What is FaceTime?”

Me: “That’s a great question. It’s actually a brand new app that’s included with iOS 5 that allows you to video chat, like Skype.”

Customer: “Well, how does it work?”

Me: “Easy! You just open the app, tap the person you want to contact, and your device will attempt to connect to the person’s device for a video chat.”

(At this point in the conversation, I think I am doing a great job explaining FaceTime. Then, the tone completely changes.)

Customer: “Right, but how does it work?”

Me: “Like I said, you just tap the—”

Customer: “Stop, stop, stop! You already explained that. You’re avoiding the question now. How does FaceTime actually work!?”

Me: “…Like, the technology behind it?”

Customer: “Yes! What’s the technology behind it?”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well when you’re connected to wifi, it allows you to—”

Customer: “No! That’s not what I am asking. You know, I was a teacher for 20 years and if you were in my class, you would be given detention for having a smart mouth!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am not sure how else to explain it.”

Customer: “Is there someone else I could talk to who knows anything!?”

(I ended up getting my manager; they had just as tough of a time pleasing her!)


| MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Pets & Animals

(Our medical device company has an 800 number that is one digit off from another company, which sells skin care products. We therefore get a lot of wrong numbers.)

Me: “Good morning, [medical devices company], how may I help you?”

Elderly Lady: “Hello? I need to order some cream. I have a terrible rash on my bottom.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we are [medical devices company], not [skin care company]. I can give you their number.”

Elderly Lady: “But this rash is terrible! I live in Florida and the heat makes it worse!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. If you want to write down the—”

Elderly Lady: “It’s very red and sore! I live alone, you know. My husband died a few years ago. I really need some cream!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But we don’t sell that. Their number is almost the same—”

Elderly Lady: “I have a cat. Do you like cats?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I do.”

Elderly Lady: “His name is Buster. He is old like me.”

(She seems lonely, so I decide to just talk to her for a while. I finally manage to give her the other number.)

Lady: “Thank you, sweetheart. You are a very nice young lady!” *hangs up*

Loss Of Hearing Vs Lack Of Respect

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(Several months ago, I suddenly lost most of my hearing in one ear. I’m a singer and this has been devastating to me. Thanks to medication, it’s almost back to normal, but I have trouble with background noise and I’m very sensitive about the subject. I’m in my early 30s, and most people think I’m several years younger. I’m giving a tour of our winery, and one visitor has been very difficult through the whole tour. I’m at the last stop on the tour and explaining how the machines in the room work. The visitor starts motioning at me, but I have no idea what these motions mean.)

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have a question?”

Visitor: *mumbles something I can’t hear at all*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t quite hear you, what did you say?”

Visitor: “Could you speak louder?! I can’t hear you at all.”

Me: *laughing a bit* “That’s a little ironic that I couldn’t hear you asking me to speak up because you couldn’t hear me.”

(Apparently, she doesn’t see the humor in this.)

Visitor: “You young people! You have no respect! You have no idea how it is not to be able to hear when you’re old! You should be in my shoes and not be able to hear well.”

Me: “Actually ma’am, I’m hard of hearing myself. I know I’m not old, but I know what it’s like to not be able to hear. At least you were fortunate enough to have good hearing for most of your life.”

Visitor: *a little taken aback* “Well, you just don’t… you don’t know—”

Me: “I do know. And this concludes our tour. The exit is right here.”

(She hurries right by me to leave and doesn’t make eye contact at all. However, the other members of the group pause to thank me for the tour and the information. One girl even said she wanted to give me a drink and a hug to try to make up for that difficult visitor. I appreciated that comment more than I can say!)

He’s One Slice Short Of A Pie

, | Grand Rapids, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I have returned from delivering a pizza to the last customer of the night. Upon returning to the store, it is after closing time, so we begin cleaning and closing the store. The phone rings; we normally don’t answer the phone after closing time, but since I recognized the name on the caller ID as my last delivery, I decide to answer it.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [restaurant]. I’m sorry we’re closed, but how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just had a pizza delivered and there’s a problem.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What is the problem, exactly?”

Customer: “Well, this has got to be some sort of joke or something.”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”

Customer: “I just sat down to eat my sausage pizza, and 7 of the 8 pieces are just fine, but the 8th piece doesn’t have any sausage on it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened. How about I give you a $2 discount on your next purchase?”

Customer: “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, sorry again. Have a nice night.”

(Before I can even turn around to walk away, the same caller ID rings again, so I answer.)

Customer: *yelling very angrily* “I’m so mad right now! I can’t believe what I’m looking at! What, are you messing with me not putting sausage on one of the pieces of my pizza?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it was an accident. Sausages are small and round, I’m sure after they were put on the pizza they rolled around when the cheese was applied. How about instead of a $2 discount, I mark you account for a free pizza on your next order? Would that fix it for you?”

Customer: *calm now* “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

(We once again finish the call and hang up. Again before I can turn around the phone rings with the same caller ID so I answer and greet the caller.)

Customer: “YOU MUST BE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME! This must have been done on purpose! I’m gonna come down there and cut your heads off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I just wanted to remind you that you’ll get a free pizza on your next order. Is that okay?”

Customer: *calms down again* “Yeah, thanks.”

(I quickly got off the phone while he was calm. We then quickly locked up and went home for the night without cleaning up the store, in case he was truly coming down to cut our heads off.)

The Dumb And The Dubious

| The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a car wash that often sees high-end vehicles such as Ferraris. In fact, we get so much people staring that we’d actually had to change our exit to the road as people always bunched up around the cars making exiting difficult. The exit is very well signed, with big white lines being drawn; not a single accident has happened. However, one day, someone in a very banged-up Volkswagen wants to save time by driving into the exit so he could get to the pump quicker, but drives straight into a brand new Ferrari.)

Volkswagen Driver: “My car! Look at what you have done to my car!”

Ferrari Driver: “Pardon me?!”

Volkswagen Driver: “Look at what you have done to my car with your s*** Lamborghini!”

Ferrari Driver: “First of all, this is a Ferrari. Secondly, I honestly can’t tell if the big dent in your car was there to begin with or not. Judging by the state of your vehicle, it must have been. But, seeing how you have damaged my vehicle, we are going to have a problem.”

Volkswagen Driver: “Pssh. Your car isn’t worth half of mine! See the audio equipment in my baby, buddy? 500 Euros!”

(The Ferrari driver gets on his phone as the Volkswagen driver continues to rant about how that ‘piece of s*** Porsche’ ruined his car. Sure enough, the police arrive and take statements. Once they take the Ferrari owner’s statement and review our security footage, the Volkswagen driver is blamed.)

Volkswagen Driver: “F*** you, a**holes!” I’m not going to pay for that wreck!”

Police Officer: “You certainly are, but we’ll discuss that on the station.”

Volkswagen Driver: “Why?!”

Police Officer: “Well, to start with, you’ve given us false details. Following that, you caused an accident and refused to settle this correctly whilst clearly being to blame. Following that, we have done a check on your vehicle and it’s uninsured. Also, you don’t have a licence and you’re wanted for two hit and runs.”

(At that moment the Volkswagen driver starts to run. His mistake is trying to run past the Ferrari driver, who has been calm and collected through the whole ordeal. Without a single second thought, the Ferrari driver takes a swing at the Volkswagen driver; who gets hit in the stomach and collapses for the police officers to arrest him. We learn that the Volkswagen driver was put in jail for four years for various offences, while the Ferrari driver was let off with a warning.)

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