Always Jump At The Chance For Fun

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

(A customer in her forties comes through my line, and we exchange pleasantries as I ring her out. It’s a perfectly normal interaction.)

Me: “Do you have your [store] rewards card?”

Customer: “No, I don’t believe I have one.”

Me: “Well, would you like to sign up?”

(The customer agrees and I walk her through the process. Everything goes smoothly and at the end, I scan her new card and hand it to her.)

Me: “There you go!”

Customer: “Yay!”

(Suddenly, the customer starts jumping up and down in joy, waving her hands and looking for all the world like an ecstatic six year old. This goes on for a while and, not knowing what else to do, I wind up jumping with her. Just as suddenly as she started, she calms down and stops jumping.)

Woman: “There, wasn’t that exciting? Now you’ll be cheery for the whole rest of the day!”

(I certainly was!)

She’s Serious

Lights Out, Brains Out

He’s Not Getting Off The Hook(ah)

| OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged

(I am an owner of a hookah smoking lounge near a college campus. A group of three underage-looking young people comes in and tries to purchase a smoking session.)

Me: “Okay guys, can I see your IDs?”

Customer #1: “We don’t have IDs. We don’t need ’em!”

Me: “Sorry, but you don’t look over 40, so I have to ask.”

(Customers #2 and #3 pull out their ID cards, and even though they look young, they’re over 18. I let them complete the purchase, but the other customer still refuses to show ID.)

Customer #1: “I’m with them. I’ll use their ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that. Since you refuse to show me ID, I have to refuse you service. Your friends may stay, since they showed ID. Have a nice day. Please leave.”

(As I have been processing their order, a rush of customers have come in and I think I see Customer #1 leave. As I take an order to another group, I see Customer #1 sitting with his friends. I walk up to them.)

Me: “I thought I told you to leave.”

Customer #1: “What are you going to do, call the police?”

(I pull out a badge out of my pocket, since I am also a reserve deputy sheriff on my days off.)

Me: “No need, I’m already here. Now stand up. We’re going to the back.”

(I didn’t bother with filing charges on him, but I did call his parents who were very angry. In fact, I found out his father was a city police officer himself!)

This Customer Is Alright

| Lexington, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

(Note: I am the shift supervisor. We’re very busy, and I’m on my way to help a customer find something when one of my coworkers stops me.)

Coworker: “[My name], how long can we hold things for customers?”

Me: “We can probably hold that until the end of the day tomorrow.”

Customer #1: “I need you to hold this until Monday.” (Note: it’s currently Friday.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that. Store policy is that we can only hold things until the end of business on the same day, so I’m already bending the rules by holding it for an extra day.”

Customer #1: “But I need you to hold it until Monday! You’re having a big sale starting Monday, and I want this at the sale price!”

Me: “Again, I’m very sorry, ma’am, but I simply can’t hold it that long.”

Customer #1: “That’s terrible! You should hold it for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really can’t. Excuse me, please; I need to go help this woman who has been patiently waiting for me.” *to Customer #2* “What can I help you with?”

(As Customer #2 and I start walking away, she speaks to me.)

Customer #2: “Man, what a b**** that woman was!”

Me: *stifling a laugh* “I would never say that.”

Customer #2: “Well, I’m another customer, so I can say it!”

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