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    I Only Speak Sale

    | Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

    Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

    Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

    Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

    Customer: “You missed the cake.”

    Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

    Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

    Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

    Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

    Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

    Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

    Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

    Customer: “But I want one!”

    (This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

    Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

    Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

    Before Pride, But After Prejudice

    | Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

    Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

    (I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

    Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

    Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

    Via The Aloha Landbridge, Of Course

    | Texas, USA |

    (I receive a call from a customer who lives in the continental United States.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [shipping company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to make a ground shipment and the website won’t let me!”

    (This company disables ground shipping if your account is late. I check the customer’s account and it is current.)

    Me: “When did this start?”

    Customer: “Do you think it could have anything with the shipment going to Hawaii?”

    Me: “That’s probably it…”

    Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA |

    (I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

    Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

    Customer: “What do you sell?”

    Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

    Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

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