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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Rushing: It’s All Relative

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

    (Our company has a free membership cards, where people can collect points on their purchases that build towards discounts. Cashiers are required to ask all of our customers if they have a card.)

    Me: “Do you have one of our membership cards?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “All right, would you like to sign up for one today? They’re free, and they’ll eventually save you some money.”

    Customer: “No, no! I’m in a rush, so, never mind.”

    Me: “All right, your total is [total]”

    (The customer pays, but is no longer paying attention to me. Instead, she’s talking to her boyfriend, looking annoyed, and is visibly waving around one of our membership cards.)

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “You know that’s one of their cards, right?”

    Customer: “Is it? Oh, well is it too late to get my points?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the transaction has already gone through, so yes it is. You can come in when you have some more time and I can do a point adjustment. I just have to refund and resell you your purchase.”

    Customer: “Well, can you do it now? We’re not in a rush…”

    The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny

    | Manchester, UK | Bigotry, Top

    (I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)

    Coworker: “And here’s [my name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”

    Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”

    Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”

    Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”

    Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”

    Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”

    Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”

    Male Customer: “Yes.”

    (I fetch my coworker, who is forced to continue checking with me to see if what he is selling is okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)

    Pot Calling The Coffee Bad

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Food & Drink

    (We have a paid membership program at our store that allows members to take additional savings when purchasing stuff from our cafe.)

    Me: “Hi, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was here about three weeks ago and got a cup of coffee. I’m not a member, so I got the bottom of the pot and it tasted disgusting.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir—it was mere coincidence.”

    Customer: “Well, I had to throw it away! As I was leaving, I heard you ask the customer behind me if he was a member. Because he was, you told him you’d make a fresh pot of coffee for him! Do you discriminate against all of your non-members?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I want you to make me a fresh pot of coffee right now.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t discriminate here. Again, it was most likely just coincidence. Why don’t I get you a cup and have you fix it the way you like it? If it doesn’t taste good, then let me know before you leave and I’d be more than happy to make a fresh pot of coffee.”

    (I get him his coffee and he pays for it. After he goes to put his cream and sugar in it, I stop him on his way back before he leaves.)

    Me: “How’s your coffee, sir?”

    Customer: “Wow, the coffee here is really good! I work in a restaurant and hate when customers come back and complain, so I try not to be that type of person myself. Thanks for the coffee!”

    Of Chemically Unsound Mind

    | West Virginia, USA | Math & Science

    (I am stocking shelves in my store when a customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you know why Clorox is called Clorox?”

    Me: “Possibly because its active ingredients include chlorine and oxygen atoms?”

    Customer: “There’s no oxygen in Clorox! That’s what we breathe! You kids need to go back to school, cause you ain’t learnin’ nothin’!” *storms away*

    Exes Can Drive You Crazy

    | Nampa, ID, USA | Bigotry

    (Note: I am a female employee at an auto parts store. A woman walks in.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Woman: “I need a tail light bulb for my Chrysler. Oh, and could you come out and show my ex-husband how to take the old one out? I’d love for you to show him up!”

    (I go outside and help him switch out his taillight. As I’m walking back into the store, I hear him say…)

    Man: *to ex-wife* “You had to pick the only girl in the store to help us, didn’t you?!”

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