Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,989 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Failing The Sick Trick

    | Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Top

    Me: “Okay, sir. Your total is $87.19.”

    Customer: “I have cancer.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I have cancer. What’s my total now?”

    Me: “Still $87.19, sir.”

    Customer: “What? I’m dying from cancer and you’re going to charge me an outrageous amount?”

    Me: “Sir, my mother had cancer. She can’t smell or taste anything anymore. She doesn’t get a discount when we eat out just because she can’t smell or taste it.”

    Customer: “I refuse to pay full price.”

    Me: “How long have you been in treatment?”

    Customer: “Two years.”

    Me: “What kind of cancer?”

    Customer: “Lymphoma?”

    Me: “Hodgkin’s or Non?”

    Customer: “Non…?”

    Me: “Large cell or small cell?”

    Customer: “Large?”

    Me: ”I must say, sir, you have an amazing wig! I almost thought it was your real hair!”

    Customer: “This IS my real hair!”

    (The customer pauses, and then realizes what has happened.)

    Customer: “F*** you!” *storms out*

    His Requirements Don’t Add Up

    | CA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi. I’m calling about your GED program.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have a specific program for the GED. I can assure you that all of our tutors are more than able to tutor the level of math on the GED.”

    Caller: “Well, I’d like someone who has personal experience with the GED.”

    Me: “Yes, but the GED test is for people who weren’t able to graduate high school.”

    Caller: “Right.”

    Me: “So, you want to be tutored by a tutor who didn’t graduate high school?”

    Caller: “You don’t have anyone?”

    Me: “No. All of our tutors graduated with honors and are now in college.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, can you let me know if you ever get someone who is qualified?”

    Health Care(less), Part 2

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (A patient comes in for a follow-up. I check their insurance card for charges.)

    Me: “It seems that you have a $25 charge. You can pay that in cash, check, or credit card.”

    Patient: “I don’t have charges anymore.”

    Me: “Oh, did you get a new insurance company?”

    Patient: “No, I just don’t have charges anymore.”

    Me: “Do you have a new card that reflects that change? If not, I’m required to collect your charge. Then, if it turns out you don’t have one, we will refund it to you.”

    Patient: “No, I don’t have a new card. But President Obama says I don’t have to pay.”

    Me: “The president told you that you don’t have to pay?”

    Patient: “Yeah. He says that Americans get healthcare for free now.”

    Me: “Oh, I understand now. However, I think you’ve misunderstood. The Healthcare Bill doesn’t eliminate charges except for preventative, and doesn’t make healthcare free. It just restructures some health insurance policy and such. And it hasn’t gone into effect yet. So, you still have a charge.”

    (She reluctantly pays her charge.)

    Patient: “Expect to hear from President Obama about this. And don’t expect any sympathy either when he gives you the chair.”

    Related:
    Health Care(less)

    A Heady Proposition, Part 2

    | Hialeah, FL, USA |

    (A customer comes in with a photo of her daughter. She wants to include it in a business card.)

    Customer: “So you guys are able to take this picture, put it on to the computer, and then fix it up nicely?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Okay, here you go.”

    (I’m given the picture, and I notice her daughter is facing completely to the right. Not a big deal, so I go ahead and scan the picture. It appears on screen.)

    Customer: “Okay. I need you to turn her face towards us.”

    Me: “Uh…that’s not possible.”

    Customer: “But you said you would fix it up nicely.”

    Me: “I can clean the picture up and make your daughter look nice. However, you can’t scan a picture and then turn it around like it was in 3D.”

    Customer: “But computers are the reason 3D exists. Now turn my daughter’s head!”

    Related:
    A Heady Proposition

    Childs-pay

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    Customer: “Okay, so do you take credit card?”

    Me: “Of course we do. We take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, first born child…you know, the usual.”

    Customer: “Trust me, you do not want my first born child. He’s 41 and way too much of a liability for your company.”


    Page 1,014/1,968First...1,0121,0131,0141,0151,016...Last