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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Free Reality Check

    | VA, USA | Bigotry

    (I am at a bank, attempting to cash my check. Two tellers are working. I get called over to the left teller while the one on the right is working with a clearly irate customer and her embarrassed teenage daughter.)

    Customer: “What do you mean there’s a five dollar service fee?”

    Teller: “Well, you don’t have an account here. For customers that don’t bank with us, we have to charge a five dollar service fee.”

    Customer: “I can just take my check to [store] and they’ll cash it for free!”

    Teller: “Actually, they will charge you a service fee as well.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is crazy! My daughter has an account here! Can she cash it?!”

    Teller: “Sure, but—”

    (The customer snatches check straight out of the teller’s hands, and slams it down in front of her daughter.)

    Customer: “Here. Sign this.”

    (The daughter signs, and the customer shoves it back in the teller’s face.)

    Teller: “Umm, she needs to sign it here. She signed it in the wrong—”

    (The customer snatches the check again, and gives it to the daughter to sign it correctly.)

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous! I cannot believe how insane you people are! I’m from New England and we all know that up North this is one of the craziest places there is, but this is just stupid!”

    (By this time I have finished cashing my check, so I turn to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “I know in New England things are crazy, but here in the South we try to be polite. I would appreciate it if you apologized to this lady here.”

    (And with that, I walked out, leaving her stammering.)

    Paying It Cool

    | Reno, NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (It’s very rainy day on the weekend. The restaurant is very busy, but I am the only person working due to payroll issues. I have twice slipped in a puddle of water customers have dragged in, and I have hurt myself a bit. Customer #1 is a rude new customer, and Customer #2 is an elderly woman, also new. Both taking advantage of a half-off promotion. I’m running the bar making a margarita and taking a to-go order, but I am still a little shaken up from my fall. I drop the top to a mixer and it clatters on the floor.)

    Customer #1: *mocking voice* “Oh no, don’t fall.”

    (Her whole table laughs. I blush and ignore the rude customer and continue doing my job. I start the rounds to see if anyone else needs a refill when I reach Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: “I have to say, you handled that situation very coolly.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay. It was just a little fall.”

    Customer #2: “No, the other situation.” *turns to look at Customer #1, who looks away*

    Me: “Oh no, it’s okay. That my job; I’m here to serve!”

    Customer #2: “Regardless, you were so level-headed even though that looked like it hurt pretty bad. You’re just so cool, handling it like you are!”

    (Customer #1 has stopped eating and is just blushing and staring at her food.)

    Me: “It really is okay. I’m just doing my job.”

    Customer #2: “And you’re doing a great job! You’re just so much cooler than some other people. You’re a great waiter!”

    (By now, I’m blushing.)

    Me: “Thank you, can I get you anything else?”

    (Hearing this, Customer #1 slaps some cash on the table and leaves just barely enough to cover her meal. When Customer #2 leaves after her, she leaves $11 dollars extra and gives me a Peace sign. Thank you, ma’am, that made me so happy! I used the extra money to buy snacks for the kitchen staff!)

    Not Quite The Muffin Top Of The Class

    , | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

    Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

    Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”

    Before Black Friday Comes Brainless Thursday

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (Our store is open on Thanksgiving, and I’m one of the unlucky few scheduled to work. This means I don’t get to go to the traditional feast. Nobody is happy, and the store is mostly dead. We have more or less the same exchange with the few customers who come in.)

    Customer #1: “Dear, you shouldn’t be working on Thanksgiving! Do you get to see your family at all today?”

    Me: “No, we close too late. But it’s not really that bad in the end.”

    Customer #2: “That’s still awful. You girls should all be home eating and enjoying yourselves!”

    Customer #1: “It’s shameful they make you come out and miss a holiday just for money and greed.”

    Customer #2: “I know! Why in the world would anybody be open on Thanksgiving?”

    (At this point I am bored, depressed, tired, as well as hungry.)

    Me: “If people like you did not insist on shopping today, we wouldn’t be open. Everyone would be at home where they wish they were.”

    (Surprisingly I was not fired, or even written up. The manager was just as annoyed at having to work as I was!)

    What An Encore

    | London, England, UK | Health & Body

    (At the moment, there is a one-man play showing at my theatre. There is no music, no sound effects, or even a microphone, so it is very quiet. One patron has been coughing quite loudly for the last 10 minutes or so of the performance. It’s annoying, but it’s November and a lot of people are ill.)

    Rude Patron: “I want to make a complaint. All the way through the show there was this dreadful woman coughing, very loudly. You should have people inside the auditorium to stop that sort of thing! It ruined the whole play!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry you were disturbed—”

    (The rude patron points at the cougher in question; she’s a woman and is walking past both of us.)

    Rude Patron: “There! That’s her! That’s the awful woman who wouldn’t stop coughing!”

    Woman: “I hope when you have cancer people, treat you the same way!”

    Rude Patron: *scuttles away shamefully*

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