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    The Solemnest Guarantee

    | Chesterfield, Missouri, USA | At The Checkout

    Me: “Okay, what form of payment would you like to use?”

    Customer: “Credit, please.” *hands me credit card with photo on card*

    (I hold up the card to ensure it’s the right person.)

    Customer: “Trust me, there are no two people in this world this ugly.”

    Supply And Demand For Dummies

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

    (The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

    Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

    (I go check and come back a few minutes later)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

    Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”

    Santa Will Not Be Pleased

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

    Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

    Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

    Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

    Sorry, You’re Toast

    , | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

    (The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

    (The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

    Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

    Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

    Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

    O, Canaduh

    | UK | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

    Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

    Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

    (We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

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