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    Food For Thor-t

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Food & Drink, History, School, Top

    (My awesome Viking History professor often has Middle Ages-reenactors who attend his class just to listen to him teach. On one occasion, he and five students decide to go to the ‘Steak and Ale’, a restaurant, in armor and long medieval gowns. The server is quite surprised at how they are dressed, and isn’t quite sure how to deal with them.)

    Server: “Uh… what would you like to eat?”

    (One of the guys in full plate armor takes his armored fist, and slams it down onto the table and shouts.)

    Armored Guy: “MEAT!”

    (The server jumps.)

    Server: *nervously* “H-how do you want it?”

    (The armored guy slams his fist down on the table again, and shouts.)

    Armored Guy: “COOKED!”

    (According to my professor, they somehow avoided getting thrown out of the restaurant!)

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    The Power To Be Nice

    | Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Houston has just gone through Hurricane Ike. Power is out in many areas, but some areas have gotten their power back much sooner than others. We can see a popular burrito place has power, and cooking smoke is coming from its roof. The smell is heavenly, so we go in to order a bunch of burritos for us and our friends. After giving my order of several burritos to the cashier, I add something.)

    Me: “Thank you for being open today.”

    (The cashier looks at me for a moment.)

    Cashier: “Could you just wait a moment?”

    (He then brings the owner up to me.)

    Cashier: “Repeat what you just said.”

    Me: *puzzled* “Thank you for being open today.”

    Owner: “I just got shouted at by some woman for not having ice for ice tea—after a major hurricane! These workers came in, even though most of them would rather be with their own families, to help us use these supplies before they spoil.”

    (He then taps the cashier.)

    Owner: “Their order is free.”

    The Real Bread Winner

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

    Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

    Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [special loaves]?”

    Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

    Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

    Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

    Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

    (She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

    Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

    Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

    Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

    Older Woman: “Well in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

    (The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

    Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

    Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

    (I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

    Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

    Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

    (I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when Cashier #1 stops me.)

    Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

    Me: “Yes, please!”

    (Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

    Underwear For The Over-Aged

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (A very old man is wandering around the section of the store where we display the ‘sexy’ lingerie pieces.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

    Old Man: “Yes. I’m looking for something that will lift her up and push her together up there. And I don’t want her to be covered up either. I want to be able to see everything. Do you have anything like that?”

    (I try to block out the image he’s creating for me.)

    Me: “Sure… let’s see what we can find.”

    (I show him a few different bras, and we finally find one that he seems satisfied with, and a matching panty. His lady-friend—who is nearly as old as he is—joins us. The old man hands her the bra he picked out.)

    Old Man: “Here, go try this on. I want to see if I like it or not.”

    (I walk them back to the fitting room, and go to help a few other customers. The man comes back toward me.)

    Me: “So, how did you like it?”

    Customer: “It was great. You did a lovely job, you sweet little thing. Now I need to find her a shirt that’s nice and open so you can see everything. I’m old, you know. I just want to have fun.”

    Me: “That’s… excellent, sir. Let me show you what we have.”

    (After I show him a few shirts, his lady-friend emerges from the fitting room.)

    Lady Friend: “Are we ready to go?”

    Customer: “I think this is good. You don’t have anything like this at home.”

    Lady Friend: “But all my bras are from this store! See?”

    (She lifts up her shirt to show everyone in the store the bra she is wearing. I am smiling to hold back the tears.)

    Me: “Ah yes, that is one of our bras. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Do you give a discount for perverts?”

    Me: “No, sir, sorry about that. Have a great day though!”

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