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  • Parts & Laboring The Obvious

    | Warwick, RI, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I need a tire for a 2010 Honda Accord.”

    Me: “What do you have on there now?”

    Customer: “A flat tire.”

    Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

    , | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (A man approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

    Me: “We’re open everyday.”

    Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

    Me: “None. We are open every day.”

    Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

    Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

    Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Them’s The Kakes

    | Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

    (The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

    Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

    Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

    Additional Charge For Unlimited Sexism Plan

    | Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Technology

    Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [store name]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “My phone’s not working, and your service is crap.”

    Me: “Well, I’d be more than happy to help you. Sorry for your inconvenience.”

    Customer: “Just fix the d*** thing and stop talking!”

    Me: *shocked* “Yes, sir.”

    (After a few minutes of testing his device, I figure out the problem is that the phone simply has not been charged.)

    Me: “Sir, your phone is dead. It needs to be charged. That’s why you weren’t able to place a call or turn the device on.”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

    Customer: “But you’re a woman!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, last time I checked, I was.”

    Customer: *very condescendingly* “Your place is in the kitchen. I want to speak with a male!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99″.)

    Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

    (Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

    Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

    Me: “It’s $6.99.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

    (I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

    Me: “Yeah, really.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***.”

    (I love my work sometimes.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
    Caught Red-Handed

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