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    Can’t Take The Heat, No Daughter Of Mine

    | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m working in a very specialized area of our store where we make wax models out of our customer’s hands.)

    Me: “It’s a little intense for smaller kids, as it’s kind of hot.”

    Customer: “My daughter can handle it. She’ll be fine.”

    (I begin the process of making the model of the little girl’s hand. She begins to cry.)

    Me: “You’re doing fine. We’re halfway done.”

    Daughter: “But it’s hot!”

    Customer: “Oh, suck it up, you’ll be fine!”

    Takes One To Call One

    | Manhattan, NY, USA | Technology

    (I am taking calls on Thanksgiving day.)

    Customer: “Wow! A real person!”

    Me: “Yes, sir! We’re staffed 24/7/365!”

    Customer: “They make you guys work holidays. That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”

    Me: *smiling to myself* “In case someone calls in for help.”

    Customer: “What kind of work-a-holic would call in on a holiday?”

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    Ralph Waldo Emerson Would Be Proud

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre

    Patron: “Do you have any books about division?”

    Me: “Sure, we have lots of books about arithmetic. One of them is bound to have what you’re looking for.”

    Patron: “Good. The radio frequencies around my house interfere with my calculator, so I have to learn math again.”

    Me: “Let me just show you those books.”

    You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

    | Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

    Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

    Me: “Um, wait, I–”

    Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

    Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

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