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    Little White Lies Vs. Big Green Addictions

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am ringing up a customer when her 7-8 year old son notices the scratch and win tickets under the plexiglass counter.)

    Child: “Ooooo! Mom! We can get some lottery!”

    Customer: “No.”

    (He looks longingly at all the bright tickets.)

    Child: “Are you sure? I could win a lot of money.”

    Customer: “No, not today.”

    (The child starts to whine loudly and the customer is obviously getting ticked off at her kid.)

    Me: “Oh, you don’t want those ones. I checked them earlier and they’re all losers.”

    (The customer bursts into laughter. I can see the child’s face working to see if he’s going to believe me or not.)

    Child: “Really? No winners?”

    Me: “Yup, not a single one.”

    Child: “Oh…I guess I don’t need one then.”

    (He runs off to put the shopping cart away.)

    Customer: “Thank you so much!”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 4

    , | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I am shopping at a store I used to work at and am approached by several customers before I realize I am wearing the same blue/khaki colors as in their uniform. I am trying to find something when I am approached by an angry lady.)

    Customer: “The TV you sold me isn’t working!”

    Me: “I don’t work–”

    Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about and sold me a horrible TV. I demand to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine, go find him.”

    Customer: “Really? Is that how you’re going to handle this? Fine, I will!”

    (I go back to shopping but watch her walk around to find my former manager. She returns with him in tow.)

    Customer: “He’s the one that sold me the broken TV last week, and now he’s being rude. You need to do something about him.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, he hasn’t worked here in almost a year. He–”

    Customer: “I want him fired.”

    Manager: “Uh, okay, you’re fired.”

    Me: “Cool, see you later, man.”

    Customer: *smug, evil look*

    Me: *goes back to shopping*

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    No Jellyfish, But Maybe A Few Sharks

    | New Jersey, USA |

    Customer: “So, I heard you guys are switching to a salt water pool?”

    Me: “Yes, we are going to be switching over in the next month or so.”

    Customer: “You mean salt, like in the ocean?”

    Me: “Yes, we use the same salt that’s found in the ocean, sodium chloride. A machine uses it to generate the chlorine that keeps the pool chlorinated.”

    Customer: “So, since you’re pumping in water from the ocean, are there gonna be jellyfish in the pool? Because I really don’t want jellyfish in the pool!”

    The Window To The World Wide Nothing

    | Sweden | Technology

    (One of our users calls me. She is having problems logging on to her web mail.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I can’t get into my e-mail!”

    Me: “What browser are you using?”

    Customer: “The Internet.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, when you look at the Internet you are watching it through a window. What is written on the top border of that window?”

    Customer: “No! I am not looking at a window! I am looking at the internet!”

    AA: Angry Alcoholics

    | Burlington, VT, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, ladies! How are you today? May I get you something to drink?”

    Customer: “No, nothing to drink. I don’t drink. Just a sweet tea, please.”

    Me: “Our iced tea is unsweetened. I can bring sugar with it, or if you like, we can make you an Arnold Palmer–”

    Customer: *angrily* “I told you I don’t drink!”

    Me: “Ma’am, an Arnold Palmer is iced tea mixed with lemonade.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’ll try that!”


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