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    To And Fro Is The Way To Go

    | Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (It’s the holiday season, and I’m shopping for DVDs as gifts for my family. I see a movie that I want to get for myself, but decide against it. A few minutes later, I change my mind, but the movie has disappeared. I take the rest of my purchases up to the counter, where I notice the customer in front of me is about to buy the movie I was looking for.)

    Me: “Ah, so that’s where it went.”

    Other customer: “Pardon me?”

    Me: *chuckling* “I was thinking about getting that DVD, but when I went back to the shelf, it was gone. I couldn’t figure out what happened to it.”

    Other customer: “Here you go!” *hands me the DVD*

    Me: “Thanks, but I don’t really need it. You go ahead.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “If you want it, by all means, please take it.” *she hands me the DVD again*

    Me: “Are you buying this as a gift?”

    Other customer: “Well, yes, but…”

    Me: “Then you should definitely take it. I’ll pick it up some other time.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “Are you sure? Because I can easily find something else.”

    Me: “I’m positive, but thanks again.”

    (At this point, we realize the cashier is staring at us with wide eyes.)

    Other customer: “Miss? Is everything okay?”

    Cashier: (emotionally) “You two are the only nice customers I’ve dealt with all day!”

    Needs To Take A Chill Pill

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at a chain company pharmacy/mini-stores getting a bottle of water. As I pass by the pharmacy, I witness an exchange between a very burly, muscular customer and a short, skinny female clerk.)

    Customer: “I need to refill my prescription.”

    Clerk: “Well, I’m sorry, but according to our systems, you have no refills left. You’ll need to contact your doctor and get a new prescription.”

    Customer: “What?! I want my pills. Give me my pills!”

    (The exchange continues for a while, with the customer getting more and more agitated. The clerk appears to be frightened and close to tears. The commotion is drawing the attention of the people around.)

    Customer: “You dumb b****, are you f***ing stupid? Give me my pills or there will be a problem.”

    (At this point, I step between him and the clerk behind the counter.)

    Me: “Look buddy, she already said that she’s not giving you pills and told you what to do. So you better just listen to her, leave, and stop making an a** of yourself.”

    (For a moment he looks like he is going to hit me, then just stomps away swearing under his breath.)

    Me: *to the clerk* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

    Clerk: “It’s alright. Thank you for that. Here, that water is on me, okay?”

    Disobedient Kids Can Leave You Pooped

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (At our summer camp, we have a new shower house/bathroom building installed. With it came a septic system. The covers of the tanks are simply planks of wood. This causes some kids to walk over the short fence around the leech field, and bounce on the planks of wood. It is nearly lunch time, and I’m with some of my family and co-workers.)

    1st kid: “Woo!” *starts bouncing on plank*

    Mom: *shouting at 1st kid* “Hey! Get out of there!”

    (The wood slides around, and his leg falls into the tank.)

    1st kid: “Eww! What is that?”

    Mom: “You see that building behind you?”

    1st kid: “Yeah?”

    Mom: “That’s the bathrooms”

    1st kid: “Yuck! I just fell in poop?!?”

    Mom: “Yep.”

    1st kid: *running to clean himself off* “Eww!”

    (A short while later, a 2nd kid starts bouncing on plank.)

    Mom: *looks at 2nd kid* “Get off of that!”

    (As she turns her head around, we all hear a splash.)

    Mom: “Did he just…?”

    Younger brother: “Yep.”

    (With that, my 5’10 younger brother runs to the tanks, and pulls the kid out, with one hand.)

    2nd kid: *visibly shocked* “What was that?”

    Younger brother: *plainly* “That was poop. You need to take a shower”

    2nd kid: “Okay…” *starts heading to campsite”

    Mom: “No. You need to shower in your clothes, and then head to get new clothes, then shower again.”

    2nd kid: “Okay…”

    (After he gets in…)

    Older brother: “I bet he’s going to have a crappy day.”

    (We all look at each other, and laugh at the pun he accidentally made. We continue on with it.)

    1st coworker: “A really crappy day.”

    2nd coworker: “He’s going to be in deep doo-doo.”

    Me: “Yep. Waste deep.”

    Coworker: “No, he’s swimmin’ in da poo-l!”

    (I am signaled that I am needed elsewhere.)

    Me: “This is a crappy conversation; I’m leaving.”

    Overreacting Olga

    Customer Service #1

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