Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Two Thumbs Up
    (1,553 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Taking The I Out Of Identity

    | Lima, OH, USA |

    (I am at the front door at my store greeting customers when a customer comes in. I remember helping him activate a warranty
    replacement phone I ordered for him the previous week. Keep in mind that I am a white guy.)

    Customer: “Is that black guy here today?”

    Me: “You know his name?”

    Customer: “Is [my name] here?”

    Me: “That’s me.”

    Customer: “You sure?”

    Me: “Uh, yes.”

    Customer: “Huh. You sure that’s you?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. I check every morning.”

    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (I’m a librarian. I am walking through the children’s section and see a boy of around 12 browsing through ghost stories. He
    picks up a book, opens it, and immediately drops it back on the shelf.)

    Boy: “Ooh! That book’s too scary!”

    Me: “What book is it?”

    Boy:Ghosts of Prostitutes.”

    Me: “What?!”

    (I walk over and pick up the book. It is titled “Ghosts and Poltergeists”.)

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    The (Not So) Odd One Out

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    (I am stocking shelves alongside two other employees that are dressed in the same company uniform as me when I am approached by a customer.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes–”

    Customer: “Never mind, you don’t work here. Sorry to bother you.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I do work here. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “You do? Hmm…I didn’t recognize the uniform. Are you sure you’re not just messing with me?”

    Me: “Yes, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Nevermind. I’ll just ask the nice young lady working behind you.”

    Too Provincial With Provinces

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Tourists/Travel

    (As employees exit the train they are divided and reboarded to a new train based on their destination. At this point, we determine where they are traveling and forward them there. A train has just arrived from USA and is making it’s first stop in Canada.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, what is your final destination today?”

    Customer: “Canada.”

    Me: “Where in Canada will you be traveling?”

    Customer: “Ontario, Canada.”

    Me: “What is the final stop in Canada you will be going to today?”

    Customer: “Ontario.”

    Me: “Ontario is a province, like New York State or Florida. Where in the province of Ontario are you going?”

    Customer: “Canada, but you obviously don’t know as well as I do. I’ll just talk to someone else!”

    Me: “Have a good day!”

    Please Thy Master, Or Else

    | Quezon City, Philippines | Top

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”

    Customer: *very seriously* “Give me your largest, most orgasmically tasty caffeinated drink.”

    Me: “Um, alright, sir.”

    (I prepare a large order of our bestseller. The customer sips his drink, and then looks me in the eye.)

    Customer: “You get to live…for now.”


    Page 1,009/2,066First...1,0071,0081,0091,0101,011...Last