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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Her Manners Are Phone-y

    | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work at a very busy supermarket and sometimes we don’t have enough baggers to keep up with all of the registers and help people out to their cars. I have a long line and the customer is talking very loudly on her phone at my register. I don’t have a bagger.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today? Will plastic be alright?”

    (The customer continues talking on her phone, completely ignoring me.)

    Me: *a little louder* “Ma’am, will plastic be okay with you today?”

    (She continues to ignore me. So, I start ringing through her large order and then proceed to bag it all in plastic, which is my usual default in situations like this. After everything is bagged…)

    Me: “Okay ma’am, your total comes to $193.55. Do you have any coupons today?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “Hold on a second.” *to me* “Didn’t your mama ever tell you that it is rude to talk to people when they’re on the phone?! Honestly! I swear you people don’t have any manners anymore! Oh, and I wanted everything in paper. Double bagged and pack it all light!”

    (She then turns back to her phone and continues talking to her friend, complaining how rude I was and how slow I am moving. However, Customer #2, who is behind her in line, is a regular of mine. She winks at me and then speaks up loudly.)

    Customer #2: “Honestly! The manners of some people. I mean didn’t her mama ever teach her to get off the phone while in line at the grocery store?” *turns to Customer #1* “And if you have a problem with how she bagged your stuff then you need to answer the sweet young lady when she was talking to you. At least when she finishes putting herself through college she will have the experience to put up with b****** like yourself as she moves to the top of a company.”

    (Customer #1 gets completely enraged and starts screaming how she will complain on me and will get me fired. She then grabs her groceries, still mostly in plastic and storms out of the store.)

    Customer #2: “If she calls and complains you let me know, darling. I’ll set the story straight. You keep up the good work!”

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

    Forever Unatoned

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

    Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

    Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

    (A week later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

    Manager: “Not happening.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

    Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

    Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

    (A month later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

    Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

    (They leave silently. A few months later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

    Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

    (He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

    Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

    Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

    Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*


    His Opinion Carries No Weights

    | KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

    Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

    My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

    Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [fast food restaurant], where you belong.”

    (My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

    Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

    My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [fast food restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

    Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

    (Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. He had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)

    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (We are a tiny restaurant that just so happens to be at the end of a large parade route. So, we often get lot of requests for a public restroom, which we do not have. One day, a customer comes running in holding his young daughter.)

    Customer: “Quick! Which way to your restroom?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our restroom is for customers only.”

    Customer: “You son of a b****! My daughter needs to go now!”

    (At this point, his daughter becomes scared and starts peeing herself.)

    Customer: *to me* “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!”

    (The customer runs out, leaving a wet trail behind for me to mop up.)

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