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    In The Pubic Eye

    | Singapore | Rude & Risque

    (I work at a underwear store that sells both female and male underwear and sleepwear. I’m a female and the customer is a male. The shop is quite small.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome. How can I assist you?”

    Customer: “Er, do you have any new pyjama shorts?” *points at the ladies section*

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have any new stock currently. Is there something else you would like to buy?”

    Customer: “What about the panties?”

    Me: “Oh, yes. We have new stocks for those; they just came in yesterday. They are all there.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah, they are new! What size do you think I’m wearing?”

    Me: *already in a state of shock* “Oh, I think if it was you a size ‘M’ would be alright.”

    Customer: “But I was previously wearing size ‘S’!”

    (He pulls down his pants and “shows” me. Some things you can never unsee.)

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    Se Habla Anguish

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work on the Spanish-speaking line at a call center. After 3 minutes of conversation in Spanish with a caller…)

    Caller: “Thanks for the help, but can I give you some constructive criticism?”

    Me: “I welcome it.”

    Caller: “Next time I call the Spanish line, I want to talk in Spanish. So, if you talk to me again, do it in Spanish!”

    Me: “We’ve been talking in Spanish for four minutes.”

    Caller: *in Spanish* “Don’t lie! I’m not speaking Spanish! You’re not speaking Spanish! Speak Spanish next time!”

    Me: “Que le vaya bien.”

    The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

    | Greeley, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am working the register over Christmas.)

    Me: “Find everything today?”

    Customer: “Yup.”

    (Note: she is silent through the transaction, which includes a gift card.)

    Me: “How much would you like on this?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry. Can I have $150?”

    Me: “No problem.”

    Customer: *after paying* “Can you do me a favor?” *she hands me the gift card* “The next customer you see that you think could use this, could you give it to them?”

    Me: *stunned* “…Of course!”

    (After a minute another customer comes up, a visibly upset young woman.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you?”

    Customer #2: “I’m okay, thanks.”

    (Clearly she is not ok, but she is trying very hard to be pleasant. She is getting very basic items: milk, bread, eggs, etc. Nothing very festive.)

    Me: “So your total comes out to $0.00.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The person before you gave me a $150 gift card to use for the next person I thought could use it. You look like you’re having a rough day, so here are your groceries, and there’s about $130 left on this card.”

    (The customer just started crying. Once she could, she thanked me about 100 times. Made my whole Christmas season.)

    Whiny Customer

    Prank Call?

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