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    We Smurfs Stick Together

    , | Michigan, USA | Top

    Manager: “And who was helping you today?”

    Customer #1: *points to me* “That nice blue haired girl over there. I think it’s so fun that she has blue hair. Very unique.”

    Manager: “We think it’s awesome. Have a good day!” *turns to next customer* “Hello! Who helped you out today?”

    Customer #2: *points to me* “That heathen with the blue devil hair and no makeup on.”

    Manager: “That’ll be $34.50. You have a nice day.”

    Customer #2: *yells across store* “Thank you for the help, heathen!”

    Every worker in the store: “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

    One Person’s Smash Is Another Person’s Treasure

    | Oklahoma, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Do you have guacamole here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Because I asked for guacamole at [competition], and they gave me this smooshy baby-poo green stuff!”

    More Than You Bargained For, Part 3

    | Perth, Western Australia, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (The prepaid phones we sell are displayed on a wall, with their price printed next to each phone.)

    Customer: “Hey mate, how much is that phone there?”

    Me: *glancing at pricing card* “One hundred fifty nine dollars.”

    Customer: “Can you do it for one sixty?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: *looks at me expectantly*

    Me: “Sure, why not?”

    Related:
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 2
    More Than You Bargained For

    Coffee As Hot As Your Temper, Part 2

    | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK |

    Customer: “An extra hot latte, please.”

    (I make her drink, place it on the counter, and go to enter it into the till. I notice her touching the side of the mug and frowning.)

    Me: “Is something the matter?”

    Customer: “This is cold. I wanted it to be extra hot.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is an extra hot latte. The contents are very hot. The mug is insulated so you don’t scald your hands.”

    Customer: *still touching the sides of the mug* “I don’t care. I want it extra hot. Make it again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if it’s cold, go ahead and stick your finger in it, or taste it. I assure you, it’s very hot.”

    (She sticks her finger in angrily. She yelps loudly and pulls it back out.)

    Me: “Is that hot enough? As I said, the mug is insulated.”

    Customer: “That’s irresponsible! How can you tell the drink is hot?!”

    Related:
    Coffee As Hot As Your Temper

    Peace On Earth, Or At Least During The Day Shift

    | Illinois, USA |

    (The store is open Easter Sunday. We only have three people on duty: two salesmen and myself.)

    Customer: “Wow, I’m really surprised you’re open on Easter!”

    Me: “Well, it doesn’t matter to us. I’m Muslim and my salesmen here are Jewish. We offered to work today so the other employees could celebrate the holiday.”

    Customer: “And you all get along?”

    Me: “Um…yes.”

    Customer: “I didn’t think that was allowed!”

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