October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Let There Be Unhappy Feet

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I am working at the penguin exhibit during the summer.)

Guest: “Hey, why are all the lights off?”

Me: “The penguins are from the Southern Hemisphere, so it’s winter for them. Therefore, we have the lights off for most of the day in order to simulate the dark Antarctic winter environment.”

Guest: “Well, I don’t think it’s healthy for them to be in the dark so long. You should release them back to the wild and into the light.”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is dark in Antarctica right now too. If we released them there, they would still be in the dark.”

Guest: “Whatever… it’s just not healthy! They need to see the light!” *pauses* “You forgot to pay your electric bill, didn’t you?”

Me: “What? No! Of course we pay our electric bills. All the lights are on in the park! However, in order to keep our penguins happy, we have to keep it dark in the summer.”

Guest: “Don’t lie! I can’t believe you are keeping these fish in such drab conditions! Next time, pay your electric bill!”

Me: *speechless*

To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

| San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

Customer: “Why won’t your gas pump accept my credit card?”

Clerk: “Sorry, it’s cash or debit only.”

Customer: “But I have a credit card and it won’t take it!”

Clerk: “Cash or debit only, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is a credit card!”

Clerk: *pause* “It’s cash or debit only, not credit.”

(The customer finally realizes what the clerk’s been saying and automatically becomes huffy.)

Customer: “Well! Y’know, giving me the same answer three times doesn’t help me understand. You should have said, ‘we only accept cash or debit’. How was I supposed to understand what ‘cash or debit only’ means? It’s not a complete sentence!” *storms out*

To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due

Taking Account Of Your Actions

| VA, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I have been recently hospitalized and underwent emergency surgery, and my husband and I lost a lot of work because of it. I’m a little behind on bills but doing what I can. I come to payment arrangements with multiple creditors, including one I have been continuing to receive phone calls from.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] from [Credit Card Company] looking for [My Name].”

Me: “Hi. Yeah, this is she. I think I know why you’re calling.”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am. I see here that—”

Me: “You know, I’ve been getting calls from just this company for almost two weeks. We have a payment arrangement. I’ve talked to just about every branch over there.”

Caller: “Yes, I understand—”

Me: “And you are still coming after me! I’m giving you what money I’ve got when I can! Don’t you even read the notes on the account before you call? Do you even know anything about this? Or are you just an air-headed vampire that doesn’t give a d*** whose blood you’re sucking out?”

Caller: “Ma’am, I am sorry to bother you, but I am calling regarding a broken agreement.”

Me: “Uh… pardon?”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am. It appears we tried to follow through on your previous payment agreement, but your bank indicates that checking account was closed. Have you changed banks recently?”

Me: “Um, yeah. I thought I changed everything over, though.”

Caller: “That’s understandable. There’s a lot to think about when opening new accounts. So I’m just calling to see if you wanted to reset the payment arrangement with your new account.”

Me: “Yes, absolutely!”

(After several minutes of setting up the new checking account with the credit card, during which time the caller was amazingly polite, funny, and understanding, we got everything straight. I then asked to speak to her supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am! What can I do for you?”

Me: “I spoke with [Caller] and she was just amazing. I treated her like crap and she remained respectful and courteous. She was very professional and didn’t belittle me. She was awesome. In the end, I’m giving you money, and I’m happy about it. You have some great people over there. So please give her some recognition or something, because I was a b***, and I can’t say that I would’ve treated me as graciously as she did. Thumbs up, sir!”

Supervisor: “Thanks for the feedback. Have a great day, ma’am!”

(Suffice to say, that lesson was my Christmas present.)

Wait, Don’t Hate

| Tullamarine, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(It is a busy day at the airport and I am working two separate car rental counters; although they are under different names, both are owned by the same company. We usually have someone else working the other counter, but because we expect the day to be slower my boss asks me to work both. The longer my line gets, the more agitated the customers are getting.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my rental car, and I have a reservation.”

(He hands me his confirmation page for the rental, and I begin creating his rental contract.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like it will be a few minutes before we have the car size you reserved clean and available for you.”

Customer: “Oh, well that’s ridiculous! I have a reservation that I made three months ago, and you don’t have my car ready?!”

(Although he did book in advance, I notice that the customer is actually four hours early to pick up his car.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me try to call down to our service guys and see what they are cleaning right now. We’ll get you into that car as soon as it is finished getting detailed.”

Customer: “If they aren’t working on the size car that I have reserved, I do not want it!”

Me: “Of course, but if it is a bigger car you will automatically get a free upgrade to that car class.”

Customer: “If you cant get the size car that I have reserved available, then I demand a discount or I will go somewhere else!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you a discount for us not having the car class you reserved 4 hours before your actual reserved time. I apologize for the inconvenience, but the free upgrade offer still stands if you would like it.”

Customer: “I do not want a bigger car because that is not what I reserved! If that is all you can do, give me back my confirmation page, and I will find someone else to match the rates and actually honor my reservation!”

Me: “You are more than welcome to do that, sir, but if you decide to come back for a car, you will have to wait in line again.”

Customer: “Oh, I won’t be back!”

(My coworker has now arrived at my sister company’s counter, which is right next to mine. She is wearing the same uniform as me. As soon as she gets ready to help customers, half of the people in my line form one in front of her. When I finish my last customer, I look at her line and see the stubborn customer standing at the end. When my coworker begins to help the person in front of the stubborn customer, I walk into the connected back office and back out to my coworker’s counter to help.)

Me: “I can help whoever is next.”

(The stubborn customer looks up, at first excited for it to be his turn. However, when he makes eye contact with me, his smile falls. He looks angry and confused.)

Customer: “Why are you at this counter now?!”

Me: “These two companies are sister companies, so I help out when she gets a line, and vice versa.”

Customer: *he hands me his confirmation page* “So, I’m guessing this makes it that much easier to match my rate then, huh?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I look down and begin typing away, and when I get to the screen that shows me which vehicles are available, I can see that the car class he reserved is available. However, now there is a ‘WAIT’, as someone that has reserved the same car class has already been waiting.)

Me: “It appears that you are right on time for your reservation, but I’m sorry, sir; there appears to be a wait on cars. If you would like to complete your contract, I can get you in line to get your car as quickly as possible.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me!?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry but I’m not. You were actually the first customer to be in line to get a car when you left my counter. Unfortunately, you are now are behind other customers that are waiting.”

(The customer doesn’t say another word; instead, he snatches the confirmation page from my hands and proceeds to the doors of the concourse. I watch him for a minute until he gets into a taxi and takes off.)

Children Take Note Of When You Take Notes

| Philippines | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Money, Top

(I am at small cupcake store. I have Php100 (around $2.50), which is the exact amount for the two cupcakes I purchase. Next to me is a shifty woman with two rowdy kids. I order and leave my money on the counter. When I get my cupcakes, the money is gone, so I assume my cupcakes are paid. I’m about to leave, when the store owner says she hasn’t received payment.)

Me: “I already paid, miss. I left the money on the counter.”

(She looks down on the counter, and on the floor, but it isn’t there. I am about to take out another 100, doubting if my memory was fine or if the money flew away, when the owner makes a small gaze at the other woman, who quickly notices it.)

Lady: “So, what? You’re blaming me? Why am I to be responsible for some girl who’s whiter? Does that mean she’s not going to cheat you? She didn’t leave any money on the counter!”

(In the Philippines, like America, there’s some racism on the skin color as well. I’m unnaturally white for a Filipino, which hints to everyone about my Spanish ancestry. I’m part Spanish, but dominantly Filipino. Anyone with light skin are automatically assumed to be of Spanish heritage while tan and darker are pure Filipino ancestry. Because of the Spanish colonization back in the early day, some still believe that Spanish-lineage people look down on Filipinos. The lady goes on a rant about how hard her life is as a mother of two, and refuses to be a victim of a, as she puts it, a Spaniard. I keep a cool and unemotional face, but the owner, who triggered the woman’s anger, begins cowering. Finally, her little boy, who looks like he would want nothing more than to leave the kiosk and find a bathroom, butts in.)

Boy: “Mom, I really have to pee. Can’t you just give them back the money you got on the counter a while ago and we can go?”

(The mom’s face turns red, grabs her bag, dumps a crumpled 100 on the counter, turns on her heel, and leaves with her nose in the air.)

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

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