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    You Have Unlocked The Lazy Moralist Achievement

    | Finland | Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this game.”

    Me: “Of course. Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

    (We sell game protection for all video games in case the customer breaks or scratches their game. It can be purchased for both new and pre-owned games.)

    Me: “I see this game was purchased new and you haven’t purchased our game protection, so unfortunately, I cannot give you a refund. What exactly is wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s too hard.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “It’s too difficult!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I really cannot give you a refund just because it’s too difficult to play. Have you tried searching for a walkthrough guide on the internet?”

    Customer: “Isn’t that cheating?”

    Me: “Well, yes but—”

    Customer: “Never mind.” *leaves*

    Gravity, The Universal Mood Killer, Part 2

    | Germany | Rude & Risque

    (I’m a customer, and overhear an elderly gentleman and the hairdresser who is cutting his hair. The gentleman’s wife is present, too.)

    Hairdresser: “Do you want me to take off any more on the top of your head?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, go ahead!”

    Hairdresser: “All right, but if I cut it any shorter, the hair up there will be standing on end.”

    Customer’s wife: “Well, at least something will still be standing erect, then.”

    TLDNStudy

    | Massachusetts, USA | School

    (I work at a university; note that it is generally considered very academically competitive.)

    Student: “I think there’s a hold on my account.”

    Me: “Yes, health services put a registration hold on your account because they don’t have your immunization—”

    Student: “Wait, that’s a big word! I don’t know what that means!”

    Brother From The/Is The Same Mother

    | Newington, NH, USA |

    (One day, my brother stopped by my work to chat. He is about 6 feet tall, broad shouldered, has short hair, and a beard. A customer comes in, so I say goodbye to my brother and he leaves.)

    Customer: “What a funny looking girl!”

    Me: “Umm…that was my brother.”

    Customer: “That was your mother?!”

    Me: “Uh, no. My brother.”

    Customer: “Oh…*places order*

    Interrogative Nihilism 101

    | Sydney, Australia |

    Customer: “Hi, I have a few questions about this product.”

    Me: “Sure, what would you like to ask?”

    Customer: “I have no idea…”

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