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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (I work for a call center for the state’s health insurance.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

    Member: “Hi, I’m calling to make sure my husband’s heath insurance is active.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have his ID number or social?”

    Member: “Well, no. I’m not sure where his card is and I don’t know his social by heart.”

    Me: “Well, is he there with you? I could get it from him.”

    Member: “He is, but he can’t really talk right now. He’s having a heart attack.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need to call 911 right now, not us.”

    Member: “I will. I just want to make sure he’ll be covered when they take him to the hospital!”

    This Cheese Tastes Slippery

    | Jenks, OK, USA | Top

    (I work as the HR manager at a grocery store. We often have various specialty items on display near the registers. One day, an angry customer storms in and confronts me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Your cheese samples made me very sick!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that ma’am, but I was unaware that we had cheese samples in the store today.”

    Customer: “You sure do! I took a sample and my mouth was foaming before I even left the store!”

    Me: “Do you mind showing me where you found the cheese sample?”

    (The customer leads me to a table filled with samples.)

    Customer: “It was these! See, a whole table filled with them. They’re not even being attended by anyone! They’re all rotten. I demand compensation!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the reason you got sick is because these are not cheese. These are bars of soap.”

    (The customer stares at wide-eyed at the table: it’s filled with unwrapped bars of specialty bath soaps which are clearly labeled as “Organic Soaps”. Realizing her mistake, she covers her mouth with her hand and runs out of the store.)

    Abusing The Language Barrier

    | Houston, TX, USA | Top

    (I am rolling some fabric for sale. A woman and her daughter approach the basket full of unidentified fabrics that I’m working on.)

    Customer, to her daughter: “Pregúntale a la muchacha si hay más de esta.” (“Ask the girl if there is more of this.”)

    Me: “¿De cual tela, señora?” (“Which fabric, ma’am?”)

    Customer: “How dare you?”

    Me: “I-I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You’re all the same. How dare you assume I don’t speak English!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you asked your daughter to ask me a question in Spanish instead of asking me yourself. I assumed you were more comfortable with Spanish.”

    Customer: “Well, I speak English just fine.”

    Me: “I see that, yes. I was just trying to make things easier–”

    Customer: “I just didn’t want to speak to YOU.”

    Casting The First Stone

    | Elizabethtown, PA, USA | Religion, Top

    (A customer comes through my check-out line looking agitated.)

    Customer: “How dare you work on a sacred day of rest!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Today is Sunday! Why are you here? You should be in church, you blasphemous heathen! Why are you here?”

    Me: “I’m working on Sunday because there are customers that want to buy groceries on Sundays.”

    (The customer immediately shut up and didn’t speak for the rest of the time I rang up his groceries).

    Press One For Faster Service

    , | CA, USA |

    (I am taking orders on a headset while also taking money at the window. A customer drives up to my speaker.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “No hablo inglés!”

    Me: “Un momento…”

    (I take the money from the customer at the window, planning to get a Spanish speaking manager as soon as I can. After a few minutes…)

    Customer: “Okay, fine! I speak English!”


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