A Good Idea On Paper

| State College, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I have the opening shift at a well-known steak chain. It’s a weekday and typically pretty slow to start off. I get my first table: an older man and his grandson. I leave to get their drink orders, and come back to see the boy wearing origami boots on his fingers made out of $1 bills.)

Me: “That’s some pretty fly kicks you got there. Did you make them yourself?”

Boy: “My pap just made them for me! We’re learning about origami in art class, and he showed me how to make shoes so I can impress my teacher.”

Man: “Don’t expect her to just hand out dollar bills so you can show everyone.” *chuckles*

Boy: “Pap, show me another!”

Man: “That’s the only one I know.”

Me: “That’s a pretty neat trick! I need to learn how to do that when I give people their change. Hey, I know how to make a paper frog; want me to show you? It hops and everything. We used to race note card frogs in middle school.”

(The boy gets wide-eyed and nods his head yes.)

Man: “A frog you say? Let’s see it!”

(The man pulls out another dollar from his wallet. I fashion it into a frog. It hops just enough to make the boy get really excited.)

Boy: “No way! How did you do that?”

(They are still my only table at this point, so I take the time to sit down, and teach the boy how to do that, who thinks it’s the coolest thing. They finish up their meals, pay their check, and leave the restaurant. I notice they tip me very well on their card. However, when I get back to clean up their table, there are 10 little boots sitting by the man’s plate made from various dollar bills along with a note.)

Note: “We thought you needed some fly kicks, so here’s one for each finger.”

(I unravel the bills to discover an additional $36. It was a great start to my shift!)

Can I Help You?

Sorry, We’re Closed

Paging Insecurity

| Oakland County, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer in this pharmacy store late at night. As I walk up to the counter, a male customer is loudly complaining to a male cashier about ‘the gays.’ Being a lesbian, I’m gathering up the courage to say something when the following happens.)

Male Customer: “The gays keep trying to turn everyone!”

Male Cashier: “It must be rough.”

Male Customer: “How do you mean?”

Male Cashier: “I have a handful of gay friends, and no matter how much time I’ve spent with them, I’ve never wanted to have sex with other dudes. I’m just saying it must be rough to have such a tenuous hold on your sexuality that you’re always worried about being turned by the slightest contact. I feel for you.”

(It takes a moment, but the male customer realizes what the male cashier is saying.)

Male Customer: “…Hey, f*** you, buddy!”

Male Cashier: “You want to f*** me? Oh god, it’s happening now! There must be a gay in the store! Run!”

Customer: *screaming* “Go to h***!”

(The customer then runs out of the store. As I put my stuff up on the counter, the manager runs up from one of the aisles.)

Manager: “What the h*** was that?”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m probably just getting a customer complaint in the morning. Totally worth it… I’ll explain later.” *to me* “Sorry about all that. How are you tonight?”

Me: “If I was straight, I would totally be giving you my number right now.”

TV Isn’t The Only Thing Un-tuned

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Welcome to tech support. How can I help?”

(A very drunk man speaks, very slowly.)

Man: “They were supposed to come fix it between 1 and 2 today, and never came.”

(It’s nearly 4 pm, and while we don’t do those kind of time windows, sometimes someone gives incorrect information. So, I ask for his account information, during which I find out that he is having issues with his TV service, which is not with us.)

Me: “Sir, who is your television service with?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

Me: “Do you have a bill from them?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

Me: “Well, who did you call for the service repair?”

Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

(He then starts drunken rambling about his TV not working, and no one showing up between 1 and 2 pm. He then says the company name in the middle of the ramble!)

Me: “Sir, your TV service, is it with [company]?”

Man: “Yes, they were supposed to come fix my TV today between 1 and 2!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but you called your phone and internet company, not your cable company.”

Man: “Oh, can you transfer me to them?”

Me: “No, you’ll need to call them.”

Man: “I don’t know their number.”

Me: “Sir, look in your phone book.”

Man: “I. Can’t. Find. One.”

Me: “Then call 411.”

Man: “That costs money!”

(We loop around this for a while. I can see he calls us all the time to make us look up phone numbers for him, which the company doesn’t like. Finally it ends with him accepting this.)

Man: “In case I don’t talk to you again this season… Have a holly, jolly Christmas / It’s the best time of the year…

(He proceeds to sing, in drunken off key slur, the entire song of ‘have a holly jolly Christmas’. My company doesn’t allow us to disconnect calls, for any reason, so I had to listen to the whole thing!)

Page 1,000/2,595First...9989991,0001,0011,002...Last