November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Common Sense Takes A Holiday

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

Me: “Good afternoon, [Bank]; how may I direct your call?”

Elderly Customer: “So today is not a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we are open.”

Elderly Customer: “Well, I tried to call my doctor’s office and they aren’t answering. Are you sure it’s not a holiday?”

Me:“Yes, ma’am, I am positive that it is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “I was wondering why you would be answering the phone if it was a holiday.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you today is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “Is Monday a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, there are no bank holidays at all this month.”

Elderly Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “Why won’t my doctor answer the phone?”

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week

Not Always Right | Roundups

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (November 14th – November 20th 2015)!

Injured In The Name Of The Lord

| Muskegon, MI, USA | Health & Body, Religion

(I work at a general store in town. A lot of God-fearing people tend to come in there, especially on Sundays, since we are across the street from a church. We always have to watch our language when we work. We are stocking the shelves, when someone knocks into it, and a large, heavy can of meat falls on the head of one of my fellow employees.)

Employee: *drops the ‘F’ Bomb and falls right to the floor*

(Everyone in the store hears it. I go running to where he is at, and sees that the can has hit him so hard, he is bleeding, and out cold.)

Me: “[Manager], call an ambulance!”

Female Customer: *marches up to me* “EXCUSE me?! Did I hear this young man say a foul word just outside the steps of The House of the Lord?”

Me: *panicking* “Ma’am, please, he needs help—”

Customer: “He NEEDS to ask forgiveness from our Lord and Savior for using the Devil’s language!”

Me: “I will make sure he does when he wakes up, but please—”

(At this point, the Customer goes off about how sinful it was for him to speak to church folk and ‘befouled the ears of the innocent’ with his unholy talk.)

Manager: “Ma’am, please step back. This man is injured.”

Customer: “He is injured because he speaks in wicked tongues!”

Me: *at this point, I am scared and angry* “No, he is injured because a f***ing can fell on this poor bastard’s head! Now PLEASE step the f*** away from him so the medic team here can help him!”

(The woman was mortified, but the manager was understanding that I was upset. She did leave, and filed a complaint with our office. I didn’t get into too much trouble, thankfully. though that woman refuses to enter that ‘den of sin’ store ever again. Also, the employee is all right. He just needed some stitches.)

Securing Their Good Behavior

| Lexington, KY, USA | Family & Kids

(There are two small children of about 10 years old in the store who are being very rowdy. The entire time they’ve been in the store they’ve been screaming, running around, and just being obnoxious. They are being accompanied by, I assume, their mother and grandmother. The grandmother flags me down to ask me a question about an item.)

Grandmother: “Excuse me, sir, can you tell me the price on [Product]? I don’t see a price tag.”

Me: “Oh, looks like one of our sale signs has it covered up. It’s [price].”

Grandmother: “Great! Thank you, sir.”

Me: “You’re welcome, ma’am. Will there be anything else?”

(The grandmother looks at the kids who are still causing a scene. She then looks at me as if to say “Play along with what I’m about to do.”)

Grandmother: “Yes, sir, do you know if that security officer is still here?”

(Both the kids freeze.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t seen him lately. He might be on the other side of the store right now.”

Grandmother: *to the kids* “You hear that? If you two don’t behave this man is going to tell that security officer on you!”

(The kids look back and forth between me and their grandmother like they’re trying to figure out if we’re joking.)

Me: *pointing to one of the security cameras* “Well, if he’s not on the floor he can still see you through our cameras.”

Mother: “Oh, yeah, there it is right there. See, kids? That officer is watching you!”

(At this point, the little boy immediately calms down but the girl still isn’t sure. Finally, I think the girl’s fear overrides her judgment.)

Girl: *on the verge of tears* “But I don’t wanna go to jail!”

Mother: “Well, you two better start behaving then.”

(The little girl hung her head and went to stand next to their cart. The grandmother mouthed the words “Thank you” to me and they moved along. I didn’t hear a peep from those kids the rest of the time they were in the store. And for the record, no, we don’t have a store security officer.)

Acting Not So Pretty In Pink

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I work at the zoo in the gift shop, where we sell all sorts of zoo- and animal-themed things. On this particular day, a customer and his young son are inside looking at the merchandise. I overhear the dad tell his son he can pick anything he wants and shortly after the son walks over to his father and asks.)

Son: *as he hold up a stuffed animal* “Dad can I have this one?”

(The dad looks annoyed and scolds his son:)

Dad: “No, you can’t! It’s pink! Pink is for girls!”

(The son begins to cry so the dad sighs and turns to me holding a stuffed animal and says:)

Dad: “Hey, you. I want this bird in a boy color like blue.”

Me: “Sir, that toy only comes in pink. It doesn’t come in blue.”

Dad: “Well, why the h*** not!?”

Me: “”Sir, that’s a flamingo.”