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    Acting His Shoe Size

    | NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

    (I’m 15 and I work at my father’s sports bar. All legal except I can’t carry alcohol. I receive inappropriate comments from time to time from the intoxicated men I’m surrounded by. I am bussing a group’s table when this happens.)

    Customer: “Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. They’re nice.”

    Customer: “They’re a size twelve. You know what they say about big feet?”

    (After realizing the situation was heading this direction I tried to come up with the wittiest answer I could muster.)

    Me: “Um, big egos?”

    Crazy Requests Only Go In One Direction

    | UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a shop that sells comics, video games, trading cards, and assorted trinkets related to the culture around them. I work in the back where I test incoming consoles to check for issues. Between the back and the front is a small hole in the wall where I see a customer with a problem.)

    Coworker: “That’s gonna be £32.20.”

    Customer: “Wait, I have the deal here.”

    (The place is running a small deal where you get 10% of the cheapest item if you present a flyer with the deal written on the back. My coworker proceeds to change the price accordingly. I get called to the front while the customer speaks to the owner. After hearing him rant for about five more minutes:)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you advertize a deal and not follow up on it. The [Competing Store] down the road would give me all this for free for all the trouble. What can YOU do for me?”

    Me: “Give you directions to [Competing Store]?”

    A Development For The Lesser Developed

    | Manila, Philippines | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Technology

    (I am a technical support person for an ISP in Australia. Customers often ask us where the calls are routed to. They really don’t mind as long as you help them but this one is just different. After walking an irate customer through the troubleshooting steps:)

    Customer: “Where is this call routed to?”

    Me: “Your call has been routed here in the Philippines.”

    Customer: *in a rude tone* “So, I’m basically talking to a monkey?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. A monkey who’s teaching you how to use your pocket wifi.”

    Customer: “…” *click*

    Clawing Back Faith In Humanity

    | New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (The cinema I work for has a large games area. They staff this area with a cash-out booth, so patrons can get out coins from their EFTPOS cards. We also help out when games break down or have issues. On this day I am working in the booth when a middle aged lady approaches me.)

    Lady: “Hey, I just thought I’d let you know, one of your claw machines is broken. These kids have been playing on it on just $2, but the machine keeps giving them free turns.”

    Me: “Oh, thank you for letting me know! I’ll see what I can do about it.”

    (As we have to make sure all the games are working and not handing out free things, I go over to check on the machine. Sure enough, there are these two seven- to nine-year-old boys playing on the crane game for the larger sized toys, and I notice that there seems to be a lot less than there were earlier that morning. I’m about to go over and tell the boys I can’t let them keep playing anymore when one of them wins a large Hello Kitty toy. He then promptly runs over to a random young lady and asks her if she would like the toy because he didn’t want it but he thought she might like it. Baffled, clearly having never met the kid before, the woman accepts. I happen to notice a lot of other people wandering around the games area with large toys. I assume most have never met the boys before. It is the cutest thing ever, so I let them win one more toy each to take home for themselves, seeing how they have given away every single other toy to strangers. After that I fix the game once their parents take them off to their movie. Cutest kids I’ve ever met.)

    Unable To Channel The Caller

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work tech support for the Internet part of a company that also provides cable TV and cell phones, so sometimes we get calls meant for other departments. When that happens, we just transfer them over. One day I get a call from an older, heavily-accented caller.)

    Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company] Internet tech support. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “My weather network, and the news, and, uh… it no work!”

    Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

    Customer: “No! Not Internet. TV! My weather channel isn’t working! And the news channel!”

    Me: “Oh, your cable TV isn’t working!”

    Customer: “”Right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Well, you’ve reached Internet tech support, so let me get you right over to cable TV repair, and they’ll be able to look into that for you. Before I get you to them, do you have any Internet questions for me while you have me here?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Okay, well, then, let me get you right over to cable TV repair then. This will just put you back into hold while I get you to them. There may be just a brief wait–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My news channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Well, that’s still on your TV, so let’s get you right over to the right department–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working either!”

    Me: “Okay, well-let-me-get-you-right-over-to-the-right-guys-they’ll-be-with-you-in-just-a-sec-bye!” *hits transfer button*

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