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    Needs To Screen Her Comments

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

    (While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

    Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

    Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

    Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

    Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

    Woman #1: “Yeah?”

    Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

    Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

    Woman #2: “Oh!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 12

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’ll have the melt, please.”

    Me: “Okay! Would you like it toasted?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like the bacon heated up?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want bacon.”

    Me: “Oh, well, in that case I—”

    Customer: “Wait, how do you normally do the melt?”

    Me: “Well, since you don’t want bacon it’s—”

    Customer: *irritated* “No, no, no. Just forget about the bacon. How do you normally do it?”

    Me: “Um… put it in the toaster, but—”

    Customer: “Then put it in the toaster!”

    (Giving up on him listening to me, I comply.)

    Customer: *to next customer in line* “You’d think they don’t speak English here.”

    (The funny part is that I was trying to tell him that without bacon, his sandwich became a different kind, which was a dollar cheaper. Since he decided to be a jerk and cut me off, he probably told the cashier he’d gotten a melt, and paid for bacon that he never got!)

    From NotAlwaysRomantic
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 9
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 8
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 7
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

    Isn’t Buying Into The Sale

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We regularly have deals on cases of paper where a customer can purchase a specified number of cases, and receive another one for free. A customer comes into the store and makes a bee-line for the sale cases. This week’s deal is buy two, get one free.)

    Customer: “Two cases of paper, please!”

    (I immediately suspect there will be an issue. I radio for an associate to start heading to the paper display in case there’s a dispute, then ring up the customer’s paper.)

    Me: “Okay! Your total is [cost of two full price cases and sales tax].”

    Customer: “What!? Your sign says buy two, get one free! Why isn’t my second one free!?”

    Me: “Sir, buy two get one means that you have to BUY TWO cases first. Then your third one’s free.”


    Me: “It is, sir. It says BUY TWO. You know, like PURCHASE TWO? You have to PAY FOR two cases before you get the third one?”


    Me: “Sir, I can’t just give you a free case of paper. The sale you’re thinking of is buy one, get one – not buy two get one.”

    (At this point I’m pretty sure the customer realizes his error. There is a long pause while he stares at me expectantly, and then…)

    Customer: “FINE! Give me my third case! But I want to speak to your store manager! That’s misleading and you’re cheating people out of their money!”

    Me: “Sure thing, sir. Here’s his business card. He’ll be in tomorrow. Have a nice night!”

    Not Going To Wrap It Up Before Closing

    | Arnhem, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests

    (It’s about closing time, and we have closed the shutters partly to make customers aware of this. The store is empty, and has been for a while. Some of my coworkers are already starting to pack up and I’m left waiting around the cash registry until it’s closing time. About two minutes before we close, a customer comes running up.)

    Customer: “Can I still shop?”

    Me: “We’re about to close in two minutes.”

    Customer: “I know what I want! I’ll be quick; I know exactly where it is.”

    (She grabs a basket and runs through the store to get her things. I get behind the registry to scan her items. When she comes up, it turns out it’s a lot of small items, about 20 different things.)

    Me: “That really was quick!”

    Customer: “Thank you! Oh, and they’re all presents. You wrap them, right?”

    Me: “We can wrap, or I can give you enough paper to wrap them yourself at home.”

    Customer: “You do it. I can’t wrap nicely.”

    (It is now a few minutes past closing, and it’s a lot of small items to wrap. I call for extra assistance.)

    Coworker: “Did you just call for assistance? Why?”

    Me: *nodding towards the pile of goods and wrapping as fast as I can* “These are all presents.”

    Coworker: “… All of them?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Coworker: “Call for more assistance.”

    (We wrapped everything with the three of us, and the customer made us re-wrap some things, too, if they weren’t done well enough to her satisfaction!)

    Direction Dissection

    | USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “I need directions.”

    Me: “Okay. To where?”

    Guest: “To [Address].”

    (The address she was giving me was on the very same street our hotel is on, and I knew the place well.)

    Me: “Oh, I know where that is. You just make a left from the hotel, and—”

    Guest: *very seriously* “Don’t tell me what to do! I’m not your slave!”

    Me: “Um… I never said you were.”

    Guest: “Then don’t tell me what to DO, then!”

    Me: “Um…okay.”

    (Silently, I use directions from the Internet, print it up, and hand it over.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Guest: “Thanks!”

    (I saw her a few minutes later, complaining to someone on her phone about ‘a piece of paper that’s telling her what to do.’)

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