Featured Story:
  • Making False Bald Statements
    (1,388 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    An Unhappy Meal

    | NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The majority of my calls tend to come from the technologically deficient users attempting to access our online banking site.)

    Caller: “I can’t get into your website. Are you having problems?”

    Me: *verifies website is working normally* “No, ma’am, our website appears to be working just fine. There might be an issue with your computer. What web browser are you using?”

    Caller: “McDonald’s.”

    Me: “Pardon me, but did you say McDonald’s?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Are you using the Internet at McDonald’s?”

    Caller: “Of course, that is what I just told you.”

    Me: “Okay, but I need to know what program you are using to get onto our website.”

    Caller: “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

    Me: “I understand you are using their Internet access, but I need to know what program you are using. Could it be Internet Explorer, Firefox, Google Chrome, or Opera?”

    Caller: *in a rather desperate tone* “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

    Me: “I understand. What does the icon that you clicked on look like? Is it a blue ‘E’ with a gold halo?”

    Caller: “How would I know that?”

    Me: “Look on your desktop and…”

    Caller: “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m at McDonald’s?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the desktop is what you see when you turn the computer on.”

    (This conversation went on for 20 minutes before we finally figured out she was using Internet Explorer. The issue was that her Java was out of date. Way out of date. Talking her through updating Java took an additional 15 minutes. After the conversation, I walked into my boss’s office and informed him that I qualified for hazard pay.)

    Decaffeinated Milk

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes into the store and confusedly finds his way to the register.)

    Customer: “Get me a steamed milk.”

    (I make the drink and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “This is just milk. I wanted coffee in this.”

    Me: “No. You ordered steamed milk.”

    Customer: “Don’t you guys put coffee in everything?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What has coffee in it?”

    Me: “Coffee.”

    Customer: “Oh! That’s what I meant to get.”

    The Opposite Of A Rib-Tickler

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m the last to get cut tonight and end up having to pick up a table. Right off the bat, this woman tells me how last time she had a horrible experience and that our boss said he’d take care of them the next time they were in.)

    Customer: “I want our appetizer crispy, but not burnt. I want our ribs to be meaty and full. I don’t want them to just pick out any kind and my daughter will have her steak medium.”

    (I bring out the appetizer.)

    Customer: “This isn’t crispy at all! See all this?”

    (I go back and get a new one started for her. When I come back out to tell her that, she says:)

    Customer: “Well, we actually want it without all the seasoning on it.”

    (I run back to let the kitchen guys know, and they are now making the third appetizer for this family. I bring it out when it’s ready.)

    Customer: *after about a minute of eating the appetizer* “Why is everything taking so long? Why is the food taking so long? We’ve been here three hours!”

    (It’s been approximately a half an hour.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we had to make you three appetizers first, before the food was put in.”

    Customer: “I don’t care. It’s taking too long. And they better not screw up the ribs.”

    (I go back to the kitchen and tell the guys they really need to help me out here and they do their best.)

    Customer: *after biting into her ribs* “Do you see this? It’s so dry! Taste it!”

    Me: “No, thanks, ma’am. I trust you.”

    (I grab my manager and have her talk to them. We get her two new baked potatoes, she argues over what medium meant, etc. My manager takes the ribs off the bill. I take it out to her.)

    Customer: “Well, I don’t think we should pay for any of this! We didn’t eat it! My daughter hardly touched her steak.”

    (I ran back and begged my manager to take care of it, since they had been here over an hour and a half and we’re closed. She took care of the whole check. I sat down with the woman and chatted for a minute afterwards, and she handed me $6… on a check that should’ve been $50, for a table that kept me past closing.)

    Social media doesn’t always work as expected

    Not Quite Married To The Name Yet

    | NB, Canada | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work we keep our customer’s personal information on file so that they don’t have to repeat it every time they stay.)

    Customer: “I’d like to reserve a room for tonight, a double room, and my name is [Customer]. You should have my information on file already.”

    Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me see… I don’t seem to have anything under that name. Is this the name you used last time you stayed with us?”

    Customer: “Of course! It’s my name; I always use it. What other name would I use?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that we save the information by name and sometimes a client gives their name when the room was last booked under their spouse’s or parent’s name. Let me try a different spelling. Hmmm, still nothing. Did you stay here recently, as in within the last 12 months?”

    Customer: “It’s been less than that. I was here not long ago! How hard can it be to find my information? My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything here. In any case I’d be happy to reserve this room for you if you can just give me a telephone number and credit card…”

    Customer: “Absolutely not! You have my information and I’m not giving you anything! When I arrive later I expect to have my room ready with my personal information attached. My name is [Customer] and that is all you need. You must obviously be new here.”

    Me: “Actually, I’ve been here for two years, ma’am. Unfortunately I do not have access to your profile. I have nothing under the name you provided me, and I’ve even checked various spellings of the name. Are you certain you were here less than 12 months ago? Our system deletes profiles that haven’t been used for 12 months.”

    Customer: “I WAS JUST THERE! You are incompetent. I expect you to have my room ready when I arrive and be sure that I will be contacting your manager to have you retrained on how to use your system.” *hangs up*

    (Later, the customer comes in to check in and is furious that I still do not have her information on file. After reluctantly giving me at least her credit card number, I get her checked in and provide her with her room keys. As she’s walking away:)

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know if it makes a difference but every other time we’ve stayed here we booked under my husband’s name, [Completely Different Name]. Can you find it if you look for that name? I mean, we were just here on [gives a date over three years ago]. You should have it.”

    Me: *trying not to bang my head on the desk* “I’ll take a look in the system, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Customer: “I will when you learn to navigate your own computer system.”

    Page 10/2,567First...89101112...Last