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(We’ve just recently switched to a new system where receipts are optional.)
Me: “…and would you like a receipt today?”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “We’re now only printing receipts if you’d like one, in order to save paper. Would you like a receipt?”
Customer: “Of course I want my receipt! You know, it’s young punks like you who do all your online banking who are responsible for 9-11! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
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