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    Opposite Day Strikes Again

    | Owatonna, MN, USA |

    Me: *on the phone* “**** footwear, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, we’re on a trip up north, and are going to drive right past you guys in a couple of hours. We’re wondering if you had a particular shoe in stock? I even have the item number so you can look it up.”

    Me: “Wonderful!” *looking up item* “I’m sorry ma’am, that particular shoe is only carried in our catalog.”

    Customer: “Good, well, we don’t want to stop if you don’t have them there.”

    Me: “Yeah…well, I’m sorry to say we don’t have them here. The best we could do is order them for you.”

    Customer: “Ok, great, I’m a size 8, so if you could just put those on hold that’d be great. We’re on a trip and I just want to make a quick stop to pick them up.”

    Me: “I’m…sorry, ma’am, maybe you didn’t hear me. We do not have those shoes in this store.”

    Customer: “Ok, we’ll be there in a couple hours.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t have them. I don’t know how else to say this…. None, we have zero in stock; there’s really no need for you to come in, please…don’t come in.”

    Customer: “All right, we’ll see you then.” *hangs up*

    Me: “…”