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    One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 2

    | Appleton, WI, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [phone company]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hi, I just want to know why my bill is higher this month. You guys are always adding charges to my bill, and I want to know why!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I will be more than happy to help you figure out those charges. Let me pull up the account. Who am I speaking with?”

    Caller: “I can’t tell you that.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need to pull up the account to find out what your charges are. I can’t do that if I don’t get any information from you.”

    Caller: *reluctantly gives name* “I don’t know why you keep asking me for this information! You have my credit card numbers and social security numbers and whatever else! What government agency are you selling my information to, anyway?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we do not sell your information. I can’t even access any of your–”

    Caller: “I know you tell them where I call! The police are tapping my phone and harassing me! I know you have my information!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am…well, the charges on your account seem to be 411 charges.”

    Caller: “That’s so they don’t know who I’m calling!” *click*