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    On The Red Eye For The Red Nose

    | USA |

    (It is Christmas Eve and I am stewarding an overnight flight. A mother is traveling with her two young children, both of whom are crowding around the window.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but your children will both have to take their seats shortly.”

    Mother: “Oh, it’s okay. They’re just keeping an eye out for Santa.”

    Me: “Oh how lovely!”

    Mother: “Are they looking out the right side of the plane?”

    Me: *playing along* “They might get lucky if they keep an eye out, but since we’re about to serve the evening meal, they will need to take their seats.”

    Mother: *totally serious* “No! They might miss Santa!”

    Me: “Uh… well ma’am I think you’ll be alright for the moment.”

    Mother: “But we can’t miss Santa! I want them to see the reindeer!”

    Me: “Alright, but if they want to eat their meal they will need to sit in their seats.”

    (I walk roughly two rows down the aisle when another passenger grabs my attention.)

    Passenger: “I don’t care how crazy that mother is, don’t tell them the truth! It’s the only thing that’s been keeping those brats quiet all night!”