On The Need For Hazard Pay

(A customer walks into the video rental store, clearly confused.)

Customer: “Where can I rent some condoms?”

Me: “… try the grocery store. We rent movies only.”

Customer: “But, don’t you guys… umm… cater to that kind of customer?”

Me: “Not my job to know, sir. Personally, I would never sell them here, let alone rent them.”

Customer: “That’s because you’re a stupid Catholic who’s not going to get laid until you are married! F*** YOU AND YOUR F***ING MORALS!”

Me: “I am going to have to ask you to leave, sir. Your behavior is unacceptable in this store.”

(The customer suddenly grabs the fliers on the counter for the upcoming movies, throws them everywhere, and then sprints out.)