(A customer left her shopping cart in front of my register. Another customer is walking up before I can move it. This is a huge pet peeve of mine.)

Customer: “Did they leave that there so I would trip?”

Me: “No, she left it because she was lazy.”

Customer: *completely seriously* “You’re so nice!”

Me: “Thank you?”

Customer: “You’re just as nice as everyone else who works here. Do they only hire nice people here?”

Me: “Yes, sir, they try to only hire nice people here.”

Customer: “Well, you tell your manager to start hiring some rude people!”

Me: “Excuse me, Sir?”

Customer: “Yes! Hire some rude people! Keep us on our toes!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let someone know.”