(It’s my day off, and I’m shopping at the store where I work when this happens.)

Customer: “You!” *runs up to me*

Me: “Uh, yes?”

Customer: “That’s not how you respond to a paying customer. You’re supposed to say, ‘How may I help you today, ma’am’, and smile!”

Me: “Um, actually right now I’m a paying customer too.”

Customer: “You still work here don’t, you? So, you have to help me or I will get you fired!”

Me: “I’m not working right now. That means—”

Customer: “I don’t care what it means!”

Me: “It means that I cannot help you, will not help you, and it also means I get to walk away.”

(A few minutes pass. Then the customer returns with my manager.)

Customer: *points at me* “Her! She refused to help me. Fire her!”

Manager: “Ma’am, she’s not working today. She’s here as a customer, and if that was you I heard yelling at her, that means I can kick you out of the store for harassing other customers. Please finish your shopping and leave.”

Customer: “But she still works here so she has to help me! I am the customer! I am right!”

Manager: “Geez.” *hands me her manager card* “Use this on your stuff to get my discount. I have to deal with this.”

Me: “Remember boss, the customer is always right!”

Manager: “Oh, shut up.”