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    Not The Sharpest Bigot

    | AZ, USA | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m walking around the store seeing if any shoppers need help.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding everything all right today?”

    Customer: *turning* “Oh, what the f*** is this?”

    Me: “Um… what is what?”

    Customer: “I haven’t been helped by a single American since I got here. Are you people even hiring whites?”

    (Our town has a regrettably accurate reputation for being somewhat racist. Customers often ignore non-white employees or refuse their aid. I’m of Indian descent, but was born and raised a few miles away in Phoenix.)

    Me: “Sir, all our employees are American citizens. If you don’t need help, though, I’ll just go.”

    Customer: “Hang on, where’s your manager’s office?”

    (I point.)

    Customer: “Good!”

    (Without warning, he grabs my arm and drags me forcefully to the office. He pushes it open without knocking.)

    Customer: “You need to arrest this man! He’s an illegal!”

    (My manager turns in her chair. She’s got light brown skin, and is often mistaken for Hispanic.)

    Manager: “Sir, I know for a fact [my name] is a citizen. And you need to take your hands off him right now.”

    Customer: *not letting go* “Oh my God! They’ve got a Mexican in charge. No wonder you don’t hire whites!”

    Manager: “Sir, more than half of my employees are white. Now let [my name] go or I will call the police.”

    Customer: “Are you threatening me? I’m a real American, you can’t threaten me!”

    (At this he pulls out a Swiss Army knife and points it at her.)

    Manager: “No, I’m not. Would you like me to?”

    (Without warning, she draws a knife of her own from nowhere and slams it point-first into the desk.)

    Manager: “That’s one. I’m carrying nine. Let him go.”

    (The customer goes pale and releases both my arm and the knife.)

    Manager: “Thank you.”

    (Instead of letting him go, my manager locked him in the office and called the police, who came and arrested him for assault and threatening with a weapon. As they were leading him out, my manager stopped him for a moment.)

    Manager: “And by the way, I’m not Hispanic, I’m Romani. If you’re going to be a racist, at least learn the difference.”