(I’m a tour guide at a crystal factory, and have just ended a speech about how crystal is made.)

Tourist #1: “If I keep some liquor in my crystal decanter will I get lead poisoning?”

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. It would take well over 100 years before any of the lead in the crystal would permeate into the liquid.”

Tourist #2: “Hey, if I eat the crystal, will I die from lead poisoning?”