He Has A Hard Drive

(I’m in the living room watching anime on my laptop. My husband is playing games in the computer room, but we’ve both been having internet issues off and on.)

Husband: *exiting computer room* “I’m going to f*** you.”

(I look up, a little surprised, but obviously willing. After a minute, I realize he was just restarting the modem and router. I start to laugh.)

Husband: “Did you think…?”

Me: “Yeah.”

(Now we’re both laughing uncontrollably. After a few minutes…)

Husband: “Your internet should be up.”

Me: “It’s up.”

Husband: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Well, now how are you supposed to f*** me in that condition?”