(I’m cleaning a table that a young couple just left and find a used tampon floating in their old drink and a pregnancy test hiding in their napkin. I turn around to see a frantic woman.)

Customer: “Where is it?!”

Me: “Uh…excuse me?”

Customer: “I left some personal things here – what happened to them?”

(I look at my tub and then back at her. She looks at my tub and then back at me, and suddenly turns pale.)

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: *suddenly quiet* “Do you remember what the result was?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, that’s just f****** great! Thanks for nothing!”