Not Seeing The Forest For The Greasy Trees

(I’m working the concession stand, and a customer has just ordered a jumbo popcorn.)

Customer: “Is that real butter in the squirty thing?”

Me: “It’s vegetable oil with artificial butter flavoring.”

Customer: “Okay, gimme some of that.”

Me: *squirting some butter* “There you go. Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Little more, please?”

Me: *squirt* “How’s that?”

Customer: “Keep going. I’ll say when.”

(I keep squirting until there are about two inches of yellow oil in the bottom of the tub. The popcorn is starting to float out the top.)

Customer: “Okay, that’s good.”

Me: “All right, then. Is there anything else you’d like today?”

Customer: “Lemme have a Diet Coke. A small one. I’m trying to watch my weight.”