Not Remotely Intelligent

, | Texas, USA | Top

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling ***. May I have your phone number, please?”

Caller: “This thing doesn’t f***ing work!”

Me: “Sir, I’ll be happy to help you with that.”

Caller: “Just help me with this f***ing thing!”

(Eventually, I find out he needs help with a DVD remote.)

Caller: “The movie doesn’t play! It doesn’t do a f***ing thing!”

(I hear the crunching of plastic as he tries to push the buttons really hard.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re pressing the play button and it’s not working. Correct?”

Caller: “Which one’s the play button?”

Me: “The one that says ‘play’ above it. It should be in the shape of an arrow that’s pointing to the right.”

Caller: “I can’t read any of this s***! I don’t have anything like that. There’s just one that points to the left.”

Me: “Sir, go ahead and turn the remote around.”

Caller: “What, backwards?”

Me: “Yes, so that the other side points at the DVD player.”

Caller: “Oh…it works now!” *click*