Not Much Food For Thought

(I’m a hostess seating a very attractive couple and their adorable nine-month-old baby.)

Me: “Do we have anything to celebrate tonight?”

Wife: “No… Well…”

Me: “Yes?”

Wife: *as if divulging a great secret* “Well, I’ve been on a cleanse since I had my baby, and I’m only allowed to eat on certain days. Today… I get to eat DINNER!”

Me: “Uhm…”

Wife: *nervous giggle*