Home Life Improvement

(My husband and I have been watching the first season of ‘Home Improvement.’ I keep commenting on how pigheaded the lead male can be in relations with his wife. In one episode they are arguing about space, and his space versus her space. The lead male comments that he thinks of his wife all the time; like, during a football game he thinks, ‘if my wife was here she’d get me a beer.’)

Me: “If you ever treat me like that I’ll kill you.”

Husband: “Okay.”

Me: “Treating her like she’s a servant, he doesn’t even—” *I stop short, a sudden realization hitting me* “Oh, my god. I’m a dude!”

Husband: “What?”

Me: “I’m the one that always asks you to get stuff for me. ‘Make me dinner!’ Ugh, I’m the dude! I feel bad now… Want to play with my boobs?”