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  • Not Just Ol’ Gay Paris Anymore

    | London, UK | Top

    (I am of Chinese descent but I was born and raised in London. I am serving a table of American tourists, headed by a rather boisterous older woman.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant] what will you be having today?”

    Customer: “Oh my God!”

    Me: “Are you okay, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with your voice?”

    Me: “Nothing, ma’am. I’m perfectly fine.”

    Customer: “But you sound English!”

    Me: “I am. I was born here.”

    Customer: “But, that’s impossible!”

    Me: “I assure you, ma’am, I was born right here in London. This is my normal accent. So, what can I get you to order?”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “21, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Would you like to meet my daughter? She’s thinking of studying here for school.”

    Me: “No thanks, ma’am. I’m gay and have a boyfriend so I doubt she’d be interested in me.”

    Customer: “You’re gay?”

    Me: “Guilty.”

    Customer: “So that explains the accent.”