Not Just For Kicks

(I am an instructor at a Chinese martial arts school. An American teenager comes in.)

Boy: “So, do you teach all kinds of Chinese martial arts here?”

Me: “Yes, the Courses are mainly in Chinese, but we can translate them for you. There are quite a few Americans that learn here. What are you interested in?”

(He names several fake martial arts from novels made into television.)

Me: “Um… you’re joking, right?”

Boy: “Oh, do you not teach those?”

Me: “You’re serious?”

Boy: “Oh, yeah. I love watching them on TV and I want to learn it myself!”

Me: “You know they’re not real martial arts, right? It’s all made up in the stories.”

Boy: “You just don’t want to teach a foreigner, do you?”

Me: “No, it isn’t real. None of us here know them.”

Boy: “Oh, I’ll go somewhere else.”

Me: “No one can teach those. They’re fake.”

Boy: “Oh, I get it. You think it’s fake because you don’t know it yourself. I guess the manuals are lost and someone needs to find them. Don’t worry, I’ll be that person!”

(The boy leaves and comes back a minute later.)

Boy: “Hey, could I have a look at all your weapons?”

Me: “Why?”

Boy: “Maybe the manuals are hidden in them. At least please show me your swords and sabers. Just clash them together.”

(He’s referring to a plot in one of those novels.)

Me: *understanding that reference* “It was already recovered long ago in the Yuan dynasty, remember? They’re empty now.”

Boy: “Oh, sure. Now I’m going to find the new hiding place. Thanks for your time!”

This story is part of the Lunar New Year roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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