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    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 3

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a large cable company, and we leave our personal number after an install so customers can call us with questions. I get a call from a customer while on a lunch break.)

    Me: “Hello. This is [Name] with [Company].”

    Customer: “Yes! You installed my cable a few weeks ago, and something is going on! Your box is broken, and it broke my TV!”

    Me: “Okay… So, what exactly is happening?”

    Customer: “I push the power button on the remote, and nothing turns on!”

    (This is a common problem that’s easily fixed by simply pushing a different button on the remote.)

    Me: “Oh! All you have to do is push [cable] button and then hit your power button, and it should turn back on. You might have dropped your remote and un-programmed it. It’s an easy fix!”

    Customer: “I tried that. It’s not working!”

    (I am thinking I’ll have to drive out and help this customer push a different button on the remote, when suddenly, it hits me.)

    Me: “Ma’am… when you hit the buttons on your remote, do they light up at all?”

    Customer: “No! They don’t do anything! I push and push and nothing happens!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your remote just needs new batteries.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Don’t you just mail me a new one?”

    Me: “Sorry, no. Enjoy your day, and thanks for choosing [Company].”

    (Later, I found out she called my manager, and he had some poor soul run her out a new remote.)

    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 2
    Not Even Remotely Close