(As a general rule, we refuse to tattoo anyone has had a baby in the last three months.)

Me: “Okay, so you’re getting this name?” *spells it out to check correct spelling*

Customer: “Yeah, can I get her date of birth underneath, too?”

Me: “Sure, what is it?”

Customer: “19th September.”

Me: “Um, today is the 24th November.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “So, your daughter isn’t 3 months old yet. We can’t tattoo you for another few weeks. We explained this when you arranged your appointment and you told us she’d be 3 months old.”

Customer: “She’s 3 months old.”

Me: “She can’t be, this is the 11th month. She was born in the 9th month. So she isn’t 3 months old.”

Customer: “She’s 3 months old.”

Me: “No, she’s 2 months old. She was born in September, so she’ll be 3 months in December.”

Customer: “Wait. So she’s not 3 months old?”

Me: “Not for another month.”

Customer: “Oh.”