Snow Good Deed Goes Unpunished

(This takes place as I’m taking a nice hike in the snow. I spot someone in trouble; what appears to be his horse/camel is in distress. I must point out that English is not my mother tongue.)

Me: “HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?!” *alas, my broken English may have more resembled a guttural roar*

(At this point the horse/camel (I can’t be certain what it is exactly but it sure smells bad) startles and faints. The guy on it, in a freak accident, collides with me as I reach out to catch him. He is concussed as he lands in my arms. With no one else around I decide to take him back to my house as the weather was turning.)

Me: “Don’t worry, pal. I’ll make sure you’ll be okay.”

(Now, I’m no doctor, but this guy isn’t coming round any time soon and I deduce that perhaps I should get his blood flowing back to his head, so in what seems like a good idea at the time, I hang him from my ceiling. After a few minutes nothing is happening and I am getting hungry so I go eat some dinner. Halfway through my BBQ ribs, I see he’s woken up and reaching for the floor. I’m thinking the poor guy must want to get down. So, again in my best attempt at English, I try to calm him down:)

Me: “HEY, I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE–” *swift flash of light* “–AAAAAARGH! THE PAIN!”