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    Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even A Mouse

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, [computer company] support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “My son just bought me a computer today. He showed me how to use things like internet. But now I can’t close the window. When I click the close button, it directs me to a search page.”

    Me: “Are you sure you’re clicking the close button?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am. I’m putting the mouse on the top left corner of the mouse pad, in the same place where the close button on the window is. I’m clicking the mouse, and the search page pops up.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you actually need to drag the mouse on the mouse pad until it’s over the close button. Then you click the mouse.”

    (There are five seconds of extremely loud clicking, followed by a frustrated grunt.)

    Customer: “It still isn’t working.”

    Me: “Okay. There are other ways to close the window. Try pressing alt and F4.”

    Customer: “Oh, that sounds far to complicated. I’ll just get my son on the next flight from Arizona to come fix it.”