Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, how much is an oil change?”

Me: “$38.99.”

Caller: “Okay, well usually I bring in a coupon and they give me money off, but I don’t have it with me this time. Can you just give me a discount?”

Me: “No, we actually need to scan the hard copy itself to enter a discount.”

Caller: “Well, what if I bring in a make-believe coupon?”

Me: “A what?”

Caller: “You know, a make-believe coupon?”

Me: “Those are good for make-believe oil changes.”