(I work at an all-night internet cafe. We get a few customers come in late at night to watch adult movies. One night, I get a phone call along these lines.)

Caller: “Hi, do you have webcams I can use?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “What about tissues?”

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Caller: *muffled laughter* “Tissues. Do you guys have tissues?”

Me: *catching on* “Yes, sir…but you have to bring your own Vaseline.”