(Seated at one of my tables is a grown woman. Placed across from her is a stuffed animal.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I start you off with a drink?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a diet coke.”

Me: “Okay, one diet–”

Customer: *gestures to stuffed animal* “…and he’ll have
our house wine.”

Me: *laughs, playing along* “He doesn’t look over 21, ma’am.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Oh, you’re right. He’ll just have a lemonade, then.”