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    No Wonder He’s Always Stuffed

    | Watertown, NY, USA |

    (Seated at one of my tables is a grown woman. Placed across from her is a stuffed animal.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I start you off with a drink?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a diet coke.”

    Me: “Okay, one diet–”

    Customer: *gestures to stuffed animal* “…and he’ll have
    our house wine.”

    Me: *laughs, playing along* “He doesn’t look over 21, ma’am.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “Oh, you’re right. He’ll just have a lemonade, then.”