No Kidding About The Kid, Part 2

(The store I work at is on a busy street with a lot of bars and very little available parking, so a lot of non-customers will illegally park in our lot despite the numerous signs. A tow company comes by on the busier evenings and take the cars of those not in the store to their lot. I often have to handle irate people who are angry about their car being towed and the release charges. At about 11:30 pm, a woman stumbles into the store, obviously inebriated, and demands to know where her car is.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you were not in our store while your car was parked in our lot it was most likely towed.”

Her: “Are you f****** kidding me? I was only gone two hours… What gives you the right to take my car?!”

Me: “Well, per our signs in the lot, you cannot park there unless you are patronizing our store. It was a tow company that took your car.”

Her: “This is bullshit! You crooks took my car and I bet my iPad will be missing from it, too!”

Me: “I doubt that, but here is the number of the tow company for you to call.”

Her: “Ugh, my kids are probably still in there, too!”

Me: *praying I’ve misheard her* “Excuse me, did you say YOUR KIDS?!”

Her: “Yeah. God d*** it; this is f****** unbelievable!”

Me: “Sure is… Tell you what; I’ll call the company for you because you seem a little upset.”

Her: “Yeah, DO THAT. It’s your job!”

(I called the tow company to ask if they’d found her kids. They had, recently, and had them warming up in the office. It is late February.)

Me: “Hey… can you write down your name and plate number in case your, um, iPad is missing?”

Her: “D*** right! You’ll hear from my lawyer if it isn’t!”

(As soon as she left in a cab, I called the police and explained the situation. They met her at the tow lot and arrested her.)