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    Next Time, Just Smile And Nod

    , | Taylor, MI, USA |

    Customer 1: “We would like to exchange these items.”

    (Hands over unopened video game controller and sealed games.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer 1: “No, we just want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “I am unable to do a return without a receipt verifying you purchased your items at this store.”

    Customer 2:” We DON’T want to do a RETURN, we want to do an EXCHANGE!”

    (Our store also buys used video games and accessories so I think maybe that is what they’re trying to do)

    Me: “Without a receipt the only thing I can do is buy these from you but you wont get the full retail price. Is that what you’re trying to do?”

    Customer 1: “NO! I want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “Then I’ll need a receipt.”

    (Customer sits there for a minute and finally produces a receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you. I’m going to return these items and when you find what you want in the store, just bring it up to the counter.”

    Customer 2: “WE CAN’T DO A RETURN, IT HAS TO BE AN EXCHANGE! IT CAN’T GO BACK ON THE CREDIT CARD!”

    Me: “Just go and pick out the items you want and if there is money left over we’ll give you a store credit.”

    Customer 2: “BUT IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD!! YOU CAN’T RETURN THE ITEMS!”

    Me: “We have to return them to keep our inventory up to date.”

    Customer 1: “WE JUST SAID WE CAN’T RETURN THEM, WE NEED TO EXCHANGE THEM!”

    Me: “I’m trying to explain to you that it is a corporate policy to return items not exchange them, but that does not mean the money goes on your credit card. We can give you store credit.”

    Customer 1: “So you guys are somehow different from every other store on the planet? Every other store does exchanges but not you.”

    Customer 2: “IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD.”

    Me: “Listen, you are over-thinking this–”

    Customer 1, cutting me off: “MAYBE YOU ARE UNDER-THINKING THIS! I TOLD YOU I WANT TO DO AN EXCHANGE. I’M GOING TO THE STORE I BOUGHT THIS FROM THEY’LL DO AN EXCHANGE!”

    Me: “You can take these items to any ***** you want. We all have to same policy.”

    Customer 2: “NO, YOU’RE JUST STUPID!”

    (They leave the store, half an hour later I get a call from the store down the street laughing and thanking me for sending over such *lovely* customers.)