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    New Years Resolution: Get A Brain

    | Virginia, USA |

    Customer: “What are your hours for New Years?”

    Me: “We will be closing at 4pm on New Year’s Eve.”

    Customer: “Do you have something with those times on it?”

    Me: “If you go over to the bulletin board by the door there is a sign with the hours.”

    Customer: “This sign says December 31, but nothing about New Year’s Eve!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, New Year’s Eve is December 31.”

    Customer: “That’s not right! I asked for the hours on New Year’s Eve, and now you’re trying to trick me by giving me the hours for December 31!”

    Me: “No, New Year’s Eve is just the name of the holiday that occurs on December 31.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “Here, look at the calendar. See, if you look at December 31, it says ‘Holiday: New Year’s Eve’.”

    Customer: “What is this? I don’t want any part of your liberal anti-holiday conspiracy!”