New Meaning To Gender Displacement

(I cut my hair really short because I am super self-conscious about my looks. I also have no interest in dating so it is a great way to keep guys from being interested. I am talking with my friends.)

Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “That group of girls has been following me almost all week! What is their problem?!”

Friend: “I dunno. I’ll go find out.”

(He wanders over to the group of girls while I try to talk to the rest of my friends about some school project. My friend returns, barely able to walk from laughing so hard and throws his arm around my shoulders.)

Friend: *trying to stop his laughing* “So, [My Name], you see that group of lovely ladies?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “And do you see how they giggle as you look their way?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “Those lovely ladies are wanting to ask you out.”

Me: *confused* “So… they are lesbians?”

Friend: *laughing harder* “THEY THINK YOU’RE A GUY!”

Me: *staring blankly before grinning evilly* “Oh, really? I think I can solve that!”

(The next day I arrive at school wearing a full length trench coat that covers all of my body. My friends are curious but say nothing. I overhear the group of girls.)

Girl #1: “Oh, my god! Look at how hot he looks!”

Girl #2: “I never thought I would like a bad boy, but he’s so hot in that black leather!”

(I unzip my coat and let it drop to the floor revealing a black mini skirt, fishnet stockings, knee-high leather boots, and a skin-tight black shirt that shows off that I have curves. The group of girls gasp in unison.)

Friend: “Oh, sweet mother of god.”

Girl #1: “OH, MY GOD! HE’S A GIRL!”

(The group of girls scream and run for the girls’ restroom.)

Friend: “That was the most glorious thing I have ever seen.”