(It was 5:45 pm on Christmas Eve, and the grocery store I worked at closed at 6 pm.)

Customer:  ”Why don’t you have any big frozen turkeys?  I need a 20 pound frozen turkey!”

Me:  ”Sir, we only have what’s left in the counter.”

Customer:  ”Go look in the back!  I know you have some hiding back there.”

Me:  ”Um, sir, I put all the turkeys out already.  What’s out is all we have.”

Customer:  ”LISTEN!  I NEED A G**D*** 20 POUND TURKEY! GET IN THE BACK AND FIND ME ONE!”

Me:  ”There are no more turkeys in the back…”

Customer:  ”I’ll just go look myself!”

(The customer proceeds to march through the “Staff Only” doors and is met by one of the butchers who stands 6′ 5″.)

Customer:  ”GET ME A G**D*** TURKEY!”

Big Butcher:  ”GET THE H*** OUT OF MY STORE!”