Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,902 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Neither A Lounge Recliner Nor A Borrower Be

    | Rugby, UK | Top

    (I’m on the reference desk on the main floor of our library, when a smartly dressed middle aged woman comes to ask me a question.)

    Patron: “Hello, do you only lend books here?”

    Me: “No, we also have DVDs, CDs, books on tape, and there are newspapers and magazines but we don’t loan those. Can I help you find something?”

    Patron: “There’s a lot of furniture in here.”

    Me: “Yes, I suppose there is.”

    Patron: “I’d like to borrow a table, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t loan the furniture to people.”

    Patron: “It’s for my mother. She’s coming over from Germany next week and she’s a very fussy eater so we need a bigger table. How long can I borrow it for?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t lend out furnishings. If you’d like, I can find you the number for a company that rents them out. Would that help?”

    Patron: “I’m not paying any money! That’s the whole point on lending things. Will one of your staff help me carry it home?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we don’t lend out furniture under any circumstances.”

    Patron: “But she’s coming from Germany.”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid we can’t lend you a table, but there’s a local company that rents out furniture for parties and–”

    Patron: “NO! Table! Now! You just want to keep them for yourselves!”