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    Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

    | UK |

    (I’m a nurse in the UK. I’m letting a family of American tourists know that their son, who has recovered from a fever, as been discharged from hospital.)

    Me: “Mr & Mrs [name] I’ve got some good news! Your son is fine and has been discharged. You can continue your holiday now!”

    Father: “How much do we owe you? Do you need our insurance details?”

    Me: “Oh nothing, your son did not need any medication. There will be no bills at all.”

    Father: “Free? But what about consultation fees?”

    Me: “Yes, free. Consultation is covered by our national health service.”

    Father: “Free, like communism?”

    Me: “Well, I guess you could say it’s sort of socialist.”

    Father: “So we owe you nothing?”

    Me: “Nope, not a penny.”

    Father: “If I go home and cancel my health insurance, then get sick, I’ll get my medical treatment for free if I fly to the UK!?”

    Me: “Not unless you had travel insurance, or lived in a country we have a medical agreement with. The US health care system is private so we can’t make an agreement.”

    Father: “But you just said the UK was communist!? If it’s communist health care should be free!”

    Me: “It is, if you’re British or from an EU state.”

    Father: “Whatever. Communists!”