(I work at a hardware store in the lawn and garden area. On request, I go to help an aging couple out with some decorative rocks)

Husband: “Thank you very much!”

Wife: “Don’t thank him! That’s what they’re here for.”

Me: *smiles awkwardly* “How many bags do you need?”

Wife: “Eight.”

Me: “Alright, let me get that for you.”

(I begin loading the cart with the bags; each weighs around 60lbs.)

Wife: *to her husband* “See? This is why you go to [store name]. They have people who know their place.”

Me: *finishes loading* “Anything else?”

Wife: “Yes, take it out to the cashier and then load it into the car.”

Me: *takes the cart out*

Wife: *to her husband* “See? Well behaved and responds to direct commands, like they should!”

Me: *finishes loading their car after check out*

(The husband looks around shiftily after his wife enters the car, and surprisingly tries to force money into my hand.)

Husband: “I’m so sorry!”