Need To Purge That Urge

Me: “Hi! Thanks for calling. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to know what kinds of [adult] toys you sell.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can show you how to use our search feature! Are you on the website now?”

Customer: “I don’t want to look. I want you to tell me! Describe them.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you use the website.”

(The customer gets upset, and starts talking about her physical urges that demand these items.)

Me: “I will be more than happy to show you how to search on the website. If not, I will need to end this call.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”

Me: “Well, do you have a friend’s computer, or maybe internet on your phone that you can use?”

Customer: “Nah, I don’t have none of that.”

Me: “Well, maybe a public library?”

Customer: “Nah. They don’t let me in there no more.”