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    Need To Purge That Urge

    | WA, USA |

    Me: “Hi! Thanks for calling. How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need to know what kinds of [adult] toys you sell.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can show you how to use our search feature! Are you on the website now?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to look. I want you to tell me! Describe them.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can help you use the website.”

    (The customer gets upset, and starts talking about her physical urges that demand these items.)

    Me: “I will be more than happy to show you how to search on the website. If not, I will need to end this call.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”

    Me: “Well, do you have a friend’s computer, or maybe internet on your phone that you can use?”

    Customer: “Nah, I don’t have none of that.”

    Me: “Well, maybe a public library?”

    Customer: “Nah. They don’t let me in there no more.”