Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Where are you located?”

Me: “We’re on **** Road, in the **** Shopping Center.”

Caller: “Oh…I’m in Alpharetta. How far away is that?”

Me: “Uh…a long way. There are probably several of our other stores closer to you.”

Caller: “No, it has to be your store. How far away?”

Me: “Probably about a 45-minute drive. Maybe longer if there’s traffic.”

Caller: “How do I get there?”

Me: “Well, you’d have to take 400 down to 285, and–”

Caller: “Wait, wait, that’s not gonna be useful to me. Where’s the nearest river crossing?”

Me: “…river crossing?”

Caller: “Yeah. I’m taking a boat.”

Me: “…you’re taking a boat from Alpharetta?”

Caller: “Yes. You’re intentionally being difficult.”

Me: “The nearest river crossing is about ten miles from here.”

Caller: “Oh…can you come pick me up from there?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Fine. I’ll go to another store!”